Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
You magnificent Bastardo!
Difference is LaStella sucks, and Chapman doesn't
My guy Addy
he's attempting a comeback (or he's just very bored) and playing indie ball in the atlantic league...short-lived-cub brad snyder is also on his team.
very boring numbers for a guy with his experience in indie ball, though not bad numbers...probably not enough to get him a minor league deal at his age (33)
there goes heyward's gold glove win. bench him and bring up matt murton.
felt like 36 for sure....
Didn't LaHair hit 36 before the All Star Break? Then none after.
@CarrieMuskat 41s41 seconds ago Bryant is 1st #Cubs player to top 35 HRs since Aramis Ramirez hit 38 in 2006
surprised me, thought Soriano may have or Rizzo...maybe LaHair or Schierholtz too :)
Twitter tells me more boo's than cheers for LaStella.
What was the reaction in Chapman's first game? I was there about a week later and it was all cheers.
Not that the situations are a one-to-one, but...damn, priorities 'Murica.
bryant is good at doing home rons.
Word is Patton is refusing to report to Des Moines.
lastella's not lost the ability to play 2nd...that's for sure.
I'd wait til after our last election if I was you.
i tried...all i got back was comments about beyonce and the walking dead. maybe this should be done in the off-season.
I'm not making fun of anyone else's losing records until we're in about year 10 of the dynasty and/or Bryant hits his 700th home run.