Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
...or he might have more innings under his belt to be very effective in his starts before going to the pen...among other things.
but hey, 4-5 out innings are neat...makes the game fun.
Ross has a 0.79 ERA and 0.97 WHIP. He has a pretty low K rate but he has a ridiculously low hard hit % and no HRS off him yet.
Small man gonna small.
Imagine if Schwarber was healthy.
J.Zimmermann with a 695 at the moment, Arrieta is second at 495. Ross apparently hasn't qualified yet with just 4 starts and 22 IP fwiw.
Cubs Foe Tomorrow -
The Cubs are facing young Joe Ross tomorrow night for the Nats.
He has an ERA+ of 542. NOT a typo.
I don't think I have seen that recently...
as if you hadn't noticed, but the Cubs are dominating baseball at the moment at a level that has not been seen too often in baseball history.
if only he could throw a ball to first base, he might have a negative ERA and the Cubs would be undefeated.
Thanks for the extensive scouting report.
How about that Lester. What a beast. A nifty 1.58 ERA/227 ERA+
Sean Rodriguez still a douche
Strop quick pitches him and so he jaws with Strop and Cubs dugout.
Get use to it Pauly Shore, Buccos are done
was the last out, bottom 6th more about Adam Warren being good or about the Pirates struggling this series?
and on cue, Len and JD discuss:
JD: It appears that Adam Warren is becoming Joe Maddon's favorite club.
Len: You mean favorite Cub?
JD: No like a favorite golf club.
Len: Like Billie Baroo (then does Ted Knight/Judge Smails impersonation from Caddyshack)
Rizzo on fire
By the way in relation to the zany suits Madden was saying his other reason for forcing players to wear them in public is to cause some awkwardness and embarrassment in the players that they'd have to overcome. He said he feels this ability might help players when they screw up in the game recover more quickly. Not sure if it will but he definitely thinks about the things he does.
Brutal. Pirates load the bases with 0 outs and fail to push any runners across. After two tough games, that really has to suck the wind out of them. Man...