Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
SF loses their 7th in a row (ow).
WAS is now #1 on the heels of the cubs at 7.5 games back.
Even when logically I know I should root for the Cardinals, I cannot. I think it's worse than the Packers thing. I think it's literally the worst thing.
Kinda weird stat -- the NL has 5 teams that are at least 20 games under -- it was 6 before the Brewers swept the Pirates -- and there are none in the AL. Oakland has the worst record in the AL at 18 under. Hunh.
Jon Lester scored his first career run today. And his 2nd. Now I see why hit bats 8th.
Every Cub starter has scored at least one run so far today, Russell leading the way with 3
Anybody with an over/under on the Cubs getting to 30 runs today?
JD pointing to Javy's minimal leg kick on that blast.
Send bullpen home go get your complete game Lester
Javy with 3 hits, including a home run, and a walk.
Cubs with lowest batting average in MLB but highest walk total in NL, as Rizzo clubs a grand slam
He drew a bases loaded walk early in the game
i hope Baez draws a walk today!
I hope Baez will draw a walk today.
Have a day!!
/another diaper dandy
one of the slowest men in the game is taking a 20+ft lead off 2nd.
i think the "he's working on throwing over" knockdown scare has worn off in the 4th inning.
it keeps working, though. this is at least the 3rd time someone from the club has announced "he's working on throwing over" and the opposing team being cautious the next game. they should do this before every start.
Lester does not get the Michael Jordan treatement from umpires. He really has to fight for his strikes sometimes.