Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
Hi Arizona Phil,
Has there been any news on Oscar de la Cruz' health?
O&B: Cease was apparently working on his off-speed pitches in his first & thrd innings, because in his second inning of work he just blew the D'backs away with high-velocity gas (that's when he hit 99-100 and struck out the side).
Wow, Lyin' CTSteve? He was just BEGGING for my endorsement last year! Lame!
1. I did not say the thing I insisted that Trans write down and attribute to me, or it was taken out of context.
2. Trans and his "roast" (aka, a Salisbury steak TV dinner by Swanson) are very low energy.
3. Make TCR great again.
Yeah, I'm fine if I don't hear another one, furlong time.
nice recap, horrible game...i hope to never hear another horse pun/joke for at least a decade.
Recap posted. ~sigh~
THAT WAS TURRIBLE.
Ok, fine. I'll do a recap.
Thanks for the post AZ. That's a huge attendance. Scouts must be excited about somebody.
Would you say Cease's performance was a result of working on his change or was it just a bad outing? And isn't Ademan some ridiculous age, like 17 or something?What are your thoughts on him?
LOL and yes. No need to even be that formal, can just say "Trans, keep my name out of this abomination of a discussion."
Carrie Muskat Verified account
Shane Victorino was released. Will have more details later. He was on Iowa #Cubs roster
wonder if he was released to retire or to try to latch on with someone else...
Tommy Birch [email protected] 4m4 minutes ago
Shane Victorino's locker at Principal Park is cleared out. #Cubs #MiLB
So, let me just make sure I understand... I could say something like the following, for example:
ryno: Off the record, I think that play was literally worse than Hitler.