Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
Reds pitching meeting tomorrow:
"Hey coach...maybe we should walk Bryant?"
"No...keep challenging him with fastballs! What kind of man are you?! The Cubs walked Harper, and look what happened there! They got teased for it, by one of the Nat players! Is that what you want?"
How can I get that feature? I think it woudl be a win-win for all involved.
Ian Happ is hitting.733 after 5 games at Tennessee. He went into tonight's game hitting .667 -- and went 3-for-3 to raise his average.
2-for-3, including a bomb, for LaStella at Iowa. Pierce Johnson very bad -- 2IP, 5ER. Pitching prospects not looking so hot -- Underwood has been awful.
Did Jiminez get hurt? I noticed he came out early yesterday.
Contreras keeps hitting/walking like this, and Miggy keep up the poor D and lack of offense - the kid could be the #1 catcher very soon.
it doesn't hurt that the Cardinals lose the KC and the Pirates lost too.
...still trying to process what I just saw. From both KB and Jake. Walking Billy Hamilton twice is a cry for help. I think the nudie photos are messing with Jake's head.
Hopefully Peralta's time on the Cubs roster will be shorter than R. Soriano's.
it took 9 pitches for peralta to give up his 1st cubs homer. neat.
damn...totally missed that ruben quevedo died on june 7th. he was only 37...heart attack.
he threw some really horrible games for the cubs in 2000 and followed it up by doing the same for 3 season for the brewers.
Holy Kris Bryant what?!
Hitting 3 HR, 2 doubles in a game. Never been done in mlb history per Len/Bob.
walks? this is baseball, not a nature hike. he needs to get his head in the game.
in my opinion, he would have been better off hitting 2 homers rather than walking twice. /moneyballs
Rizzo: 2-3, homer, double, 2 walks - meh
in other news, the site seems to be eating about 50% of my comments...which is probably a good thing in hindsight.
The Tucker Barnhart reactions after each Kris Bryant HR are kind of priceless.
...but, he's also good at home runs, too.