Randy Wells' Monty Python act.

Oh Randy Wells.
You can't do this any more, brother...



Gordon Whittenmyer tweeted, "Wells takes a no-hitter into fourth inning of what could be his last start. Dempster (quad) back Thurs."
And then the next tweet says, "...Never mind."
What happened?
Wells was sailing along, and then suddenly in the 4th he gave up a double to Hunter Pence, a walk to Thome, a groundout, a stolen base, a walk to Nix, a single to Ruiz, a pop out, a walk to pitcher Joe Blanton, and then a double to Jimmy Rollins.
Two doubles, a single, and 4 runs - all in one inning.
Oh, and 3 walks.
Silly. 
Made me think of the Ministry of Silly Walks by Monty Python. 
I am unclear on how to post a video here, but if you're too young to remember just google it.

Anyway, Cubs lose 2-5 to the Philadelphia Phillies.
If Wells does indeed go back to Iowa, hopefully he can work on those silly walks.
Get that fixed, it'll be good for the Cubs whether he remains one or not. 

Submitted by CubbyBlue on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 10:59am

Comments

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 12:33pm

Here Wego, Tim...(the budweiser dog delivers again):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqhlQfXUk7w&fe...

Submitted by CubbyBlue
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 1:12pm

Thanks Cubster.
Next time I'll be a little more fearless.

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 1:21pm

Campana lead off single in 3rd, gets to 2nd on bad pick off throw.

The legend grows...

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 1:24pm

And he scores on a close play, good throw by Pence, slides btwn catchers legs

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 1:39pm

Mather hits first HR from Cub outfielder this season

3-0

Submitted by Sweet Lou
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 1:46pm

Koyie Hill, who was released by the Cardinals earlier this year, has signed a minor league deal with the Reds. My God, how fast will Aroldis Chapman's fastball be when Koyie is catching him?

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2012/04/orioles...

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 2:41pm

Campana a with an infield single past the mound, en Fuego. and a stolen base on a pitch out. Scores on a fielders choice off Castro's bat.

Did I mention the legend is growing?

Submitted by Rob G.
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 2:42pm

Campana steals 2b easily despite a pitch out after reaching on an infield single and scores on an infield single when Galvis goes home for no reason.

Neat.

Cubs hold on it'll be 5 of 8

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 2:46pm

5-0 on a LaHair double (3-4 today) and a Baker single, would have had another run but Castro was out trying to steal second. Nice to see the base running stay aggressive.

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 2:49pm

Garza out after 7. Dolis in.

10K, 1 hitter, 1 BB. Wow.

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 3:13pm

Marmol ugly.

Tying run at plate.

Edit...

PHEW. 5-1, final.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 3:35pm

Did you guys catch the Welly assist on the put out at 2nd via a WP?

Very impressive.

Campana at least makes it entertaining for me when he gets on base.

What a fast MF.

Submitted by Cubster
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 4:21pm

Edgar Gonzalez released from Iowa, possibly going to Japan

Somebody gets to move up... Will be interesting to see who.

I-Cubs postponed again at Nashville

Submitted by crunch
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 4:28pm

he was eating a roster space, anyway, unless he was needed to be the "elder role model" for the kids.

besides, alfreda amezaga is still in iowa wasting a roster space...dito for matt tolbert, even if he can allegedly play SS (if that's what you call it).

Submitted by crunch
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 4:31pm

brandon inge to the A's...from the team that brought you "josh donaldson playing 3rd" and other hit(less) comedies.

Submitted by John Beasley
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 4:37pm

A week ago, this team was one of the worst in baseball. Now, they're just one of the worst in the National League! #babybears #babysteps #winning

Submitted by crunch
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 4:51pm

project .400 marches on.

Submitted by johann
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 5:01pm

To me actually the interesting thing is the bullpen has blown what, 3 or 4 games? We might possibly have a winning record but for that. Most of that is Kerry Wood and Marmol too I think. James Russel, Michael Bowden, Rafael Dolis and Scott Maine are all pitching well.

Submitted by Jim Hickmans Bat
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 7:19pm

Marmol needs to f*ing go. Enough of his crap.

Submitted by John Beasley
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 8:20pm

Over the offseason, Soto and Marmol would have been two of the Cubs' best trading chips. Hard to say exactly what each might have brought, but already the decision to hold both has doubtlessly hurt the org overall, in the short term at least.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 8:33pm

They would have traded either if remotely possible. Especially Marmol. Both had low value (soto rough year in 2011, Marmol led league in blown saves or something). I think Theo might have avoided trading low in theory, but I feel like nobody wanted them.

Submitted by crunch
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 9:06pm

if they were shopping them they could have found takers...they probably didn't want to trade low on either given how they ended the season.

it's just looking worse now.

Submitted by tem99
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 9:54pm

I'm not sure they would've gotten much for Marmol. It was a closer heavy free agent market; why would anyone give up something of value when a superior reliever like Madson was had on a 1 year deal?

Submitted by superjimmer
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 8:55pm

In my opinion the only way it makes sense to keep Garza is if the Cubs think they can make a run next year or 2014.

If so I wonder what moves could possibly make the Cubs a contender in that timeframe? Otherwise he will be past his prime when cubs are peaking. And he'll be expensive.

The other option is to trade him. NOW, or by deadline 2012 latest. If so anyone know who a likely suitor is? Might the Orioles decide they want to take their great start seriously? Do they have any trade chips? What about Detroit, Yankees, or dare I say Angels? Or the BoSox (we'd need to take some salary from them). Or maybe a mega-blockbuster with GARZA and LAHair or Starlin (hell y never know - for the right payoff?).

Gotta move Garza to make this plan work, that's all I know. He does us no good now if our real goal is a WS in 2015-2016 which is the soonest any sane person could hope to have this team ready. Theo is here for a gameplan and the fastest way to the top is to trade Garza as soon as possible for 2 or 3 serious prospects and maybe take a bad contract off someone's hands as a sweetener..

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 9:30pm

Uh..I wouldn't take anymore bad contracts until Sori is off the books....

Submitted by superjimmer
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 9:43pm

If its a two year contract that we can hide on the bench or play on our .400 winning % team - that allows a team to afford Garza without luxury tax, and we get a couple great AAA prospects back it's really not a problem. That's good use of our money.

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 7:59am

Ok. Whatever you say. IF we get 2 great AAA prospects.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 8:03am

I can dream! ;)

Submitted by crunch
on Sun, 04/29/2012 - 9:43pm

a gazillion bucks comes off the payroll next year. if they don't keep garza they'll most likely spend that money on someone just as worthy. they're already linked to cole hammels as a likely 2013 destination (sportswriter speculation).

Submitted by Jumbo
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 4:58am

I've watched the 'trade Garza' chatter all off-season. For a while I was excited about getting 2-3 of a team's best prospects, but since then I've changed my mind and decided you have to keep Garza. Here's why:
1. It's hard to get a very good pitcher on your team. You have massive leverage with Garza in that you are the only team able to negotiate with him for the rest of this year and next year. To get a FA to sign is no guarantee, even if you're willing to pay up. You've got this guy. He's good - dare I say, he's an ace, so why trade him?

2. All the prospect excitement is a little overdone. I would keep a sure thing like Garza over 3-4 lottery tickets. Let's face it, most prospects are lottery tickets in some way. Take Brett Jackson, all around good player but nobody's certain he's going to limit his strikeouts enough to be effective. Any pitching prospect faces significant injury risk. Look at who got traded for these guys:
Cliff Lee to Philly: Carlos Corrasco, Jason Donald, Lou Marson, Jason Knapp
Cliff Lee to Seattle: JC Ramirez, Phillippe Aumont, Tyson Gillies
Roy Halladay: Travis DArnaud, Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor
CC Sabathia: Matt LaPorta, Michael Brantley, Zach Jackson, Rob Bryson
The point is these prospects are no sure thing.

3. If Garza is traded, you have to replace him. Dempster is a FA after this season, let's assume he doesn't come back. The in house options to rounding out the rotation are not encouraging. Here's your 2013 rotation without Garza or a replacement FA: Samardzija, Maholm, Volstad, R Wells, T Wood, Coleman (6th)
Minor League Possibilities: Jay Jackson, Rod Lopez, Chris Rusin, Trey McNutt, Dae Eun Rhee, Nick Struck

You need Garza and a guy like Cole Hamels to compete. Maybe you wait a year to get the #2 pitcher if you don't think 2013 will be competitive, but you don't let Garza go away and not replace him or add more to him.

4. The Cubs have the money. As crunch has said, they have lots of payroll coming off the books and will have money to spend. They don't have to blow their wad on some 30 year old with a ten year contract, but they will certainly have the money to extend Garza and do plenty more.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 8:09am

But none of this addresses my argument that no matter how awesome he is now or even the next two years, he will be expensive when we need him AND past his prime. Why would we not roll the dice on 2-3 lottery picks in this situation? To me it has nothing to do with how good he is, it's how good will he be in 2015? And for how much money? He'll want multi-year of course . . . and he'll deserve it cause he's a great dude too!

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 8:19am

Opening Day 2015 Garza will be 31. Aren't there lots of pitchers still pitching well at age 31?

Submitted by Jumbo
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 5:19pm

I guess it depends on two things:
1. What you think Cubs could get for Garza. Not a teams top three prospects. Maybe a couple top 15 and a couple throw ins. Who knows though?
2. If you think the team will go with the remaining in house/mid-bottom tier rotation options for all of 2013 and 2014. I highly doubt that they would.

I think next year the team will contend for at least a wild card.

Submitted by Tito
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 9:46am

Garza would seem to have a number of really good years left. He doesn't even turn 31 until the end of 2014. Keep him.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 12:36pm

Watch and learn boys. Theo will deal his ass soon, and I'll touch bass with you in 5 years about how well he pitched after age 31. That's if he stays healthy.

Submitted by Tito
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 12:47pm

I don't play bass.

"If he stays healthy." Wow, really going out on a limb there with the analysis.

Submitted by The E-Man
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 1:54pm

Slappa de bass, mon.

No slappa de BASS, mon?

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 5:58pm

Oh do slappa!

I run a recording studio, no joke, so my most common typo is BASS in place of BASE. it's ugly!

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 6:04pm

Huh? You joking? Health concerns are part of investing in a pitcher like Garza. I hope you are joking. Did you see the amount of elite and newly acquired pitchers who have already gone down this year on the Yankees and BoSox alone? Also that article posted on a previous thread (about the trending carppiness of 1 inning relief pitchers) which estimates 40% of starters will blow out their arms etc.

Deal high, get prospects. They are ready when we're ready. Or keep elite pitcher on shit team. Don't stock farm system. Stay shitty. Hope he stays healthy his whole career, and pay him big money on the dark side of age 30.

I'd rather slappa tha baassss

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 7:17pm

Again.....30 for pitchers isn't old. Praying for prospects.....the Cubs Way.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 7:21pm

Watch an learn, DB, watch and learn!

;)

Submitted by Tito
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 9:48am

You can say "That's if he stays healthy" on 100 percent of players. And you can't assume he's going to be injured just because he'll be 31 or older.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 1:28pm

Regardless it serves my point completely. If you are poor do you keep a $50,000.00 bike in your garage when you cannot afford insurance. No you cash that crap in and put it somewhere safe. Pitchers get injured and it is 100% valid to consider that in my wanting to trade him for more assets. Wider, stronger, foundation baby!

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 2:19pm

Ask the Rays about their stronger foundation they got from the Cubs in the Garza trade.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:10pm

Watch and Learn.

Submitted by big_lowitzki
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 2:48pm

The Cubs are poor?

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:07pm

You guys aren't much on simple analogies, huh? Poor in talent . . . Jesus Christ. The literal triplets.

Submitted by Jumbo
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 4:24pm

Who let this guy in?

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 5:14pm

Go back and look what Mike C and I were saying about Dusty Baker in 2004 (actually mike c scooped me and was onto dusty's bs from Day 1). Literally everyone said we were morons. 9 months later almost everything we said was all over this site by everyone. Trust your visionaries Jumbo. We don't come often! ;) watch and learn.

Submitted by crunch
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 6:02pm

lol wut?

also, aside from telling people exactly what jed/theo are up to and interpreting "the cubs way" for people the whole prophecy is getting a little out of hand.

i feel like some kind of ron paul scientology ufo super cult is going to break out any minute.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 6:53pm

Actually I WISH what I am arguing for was fucking controversial and deserved this andy kaufmanesque thread. So four blind mice so far. Wo's next? It's a formidable crew: big lowitzki, dust Baylor, crunch, and jumbo pile on the superjimmer. Sounds like a very poor pro wrestling tournament. I think they would be smart to trade garza now, I think he's useless to us now and we won't be good before he is expensive and getting older. I think it would be in the cubs' FO stated mission to trade him and I'd bet they will. And I like the cubs FO, and direction. And I hope they trade him. What's the problem here?

Submitted by crunch
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 7:00pm

it's all the shot calling with the "watch and learn" + matter-of-fact with what theocorp is doing more than your opinions or the gist what what you're trying to get through to us.

your opinion on trading garza isn't trash, though i'm hot on it at all.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 7:05pm

Thank you officer crunch. My apologies for having fun, being a smart ass, and in general not fitting into your ideal for my behavior. I know these tendencies are frowned upon on opinion blogs.

Submitted by crunch
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 7:13pm

*gives you your ticket*

just watch your speed out there.

also, i'm a very sensitive person so thank you for the ego-building apology. the initial confrontation hurt my vibes...i have sensitive vibes.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Tue, 05/01/2012 - 7:14pm

Hehe. Whew! That was close . . .

Submitted by Jumbo
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 5:00am

Rob, where is your banning stick?

Submitted by superjimmer
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 7:22am

Banned for what, exactly?

What's with the witch hunting over here, Jumbo. I've been on this list since at least 2004, get off my ass.

Should I be banned for giving a crap about the cubs, passionately arguing they are doing the right thing, trying to argue my case to a few thugs who don't understand what a metaphor is, and ultimately having crunch (of all people) play cop and back off with a couple jokes. Get on with your life for f$cks sake.

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:20am

Thug? I am pretty much one of the milder posters/readers of this blog...sheesh.

Opinions are awesome..but if you don't have the ear of JedStein, then don't presume to let us mere mortals all know what they're going to do. I'll watch and learn from here on out.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:43am

ok Dusty. Enjoy life in the perfection lane. I was JOKING in some respect, and defending myself in another respect. for one if mike c is a visionary then I will move to Canada because I HATE his politics and inappropriate use of his politics here.

For another I wasn't responding to you personally, but it sure feels like three or four dudes hanging back after a concert to kick someone's ass. So yeah. Read the responses . . .

Are you frickin' kidding me - who's taking things too seriously? Does anyone here have the ear of theo and jed? do they express opinions? I am just saying I think they will do it . . . what the fuck do I know?

Quote me some shit that says I have their ear. Or are you just parroting crunch's personality attack?

If there is ANYONE on this list that is an easy attack of personality it is crunch and I try and succeed not to do so. So just chill the fuck out.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:48am

btw as much as I wanna throw darts at crunch's picture and curse him, I do kinda understand him after several years, and in general realize if I am pissed at him it is because I am kinda like him (sorry crunch). Doesn't mean I don't temporarily hate his guts and generally 99% disagree with everything he says.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 7:26am

Jumbo's apparently under the impression that there is a TCR screening process and I don't understand the rules of accepted behavior for the cool kids.

What exactly is offending you Jumbo. Let's hear it?

Submitted by Tito
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 9:56am

This is heading into Real Neal territory.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:37am

Keep pushing it there Tito. I am just arguing a position if you re-read it all. So saying "Watch and Learn" is the new equivalent of telling Rob G/Moderator to Fuck Off? Jesus you guys are too much. I am not sure what you guys are getting out of this but have at it. I am just a passionate Cubs fan who actually likes what they are doing and thinks they should trade garza. I also tend to be extremely dry humoured in real life and perhaps that is coming accross wrong here. But the fact that two of you have veered into suggesting I get banned, when in general I don't attack personalities except vaguely, groups to get people off my ass, call the moderator an asshole, and actually first and foremost am driven by the desire to see the Cubs win? Nice.

I present opinion and can be repetitive and passionate. But you don't find me sitting in wait to rip people a new arsehole when they believe in something. I am more the person who states his case.

Feels like a lynching to me. I'll be the first one banned for saying "watch and learn".

excellent use of your energies.

Submitted by Tito
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:15am

My comment was related to the implied superiority of "watch and learn" and the increasingly angry-sounding tone of your posts.

I was not suggesting you be banned. So maybe you should "watch and learn" rather than infer things that weren't said.

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 12:57pm

Yep...Cliff Lee...Roy Halladay...Tim Hudson...all sucked after age 31.
31 is generally considered the tipping point in a pitcher's career.
Wait. Oh it's not..that's right. If he was 34 is 2015, I would buy that argument. 31? C'mon.

Theo may, or may not deal Garza..we'll touch base about that then.
But the whole "past his prime" argument is silly. Theo will deal his ass...lol...sounds like when we talk about trading Soriano.

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 6:07pm

Dude seriously? I didn't say he'd suck. And again let's check in with each other in a few years. I said he'd be EXPENSIVE and PAST HIS PRIME. his best value is now. Anyway, have at it with the sarcasm, I'm just saying trade high and build a talent base. (or just be cubs fans and keep one good player. Woo woo! Baseball . . . )

Submitted by Dusty Baylor
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 7:23pm

Pfft...
Whatever.
They'll do, whatever they do. they still have to field a team until this mythical time of Shangri-la when they'll be competetive. Let Dempster go after this year, and trade Garza for a couple of prospects. Next year's rotation of Samardzija, Maholm, Volstad, Wells, and Whothafuck will be nausea inducing to say the least....bullpen shredding at worst.
Ask the Yankees how trading for young pitching works out. That's a crap shoot too.
I am for keeping Garza. But it's not like I'm going to boycott the Cubs if they trade him.

Submitted by crunch
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 3:41pm

maybe the cubs can trade garza back for the awesome kids they traded away and by 2015 that 20 year old no-power SS might be ready while everyone else is out of baseball.

also, you have a thing about the new "cubs way" that's kinda cult-like. i dunno if they could do any wrong in your eyes even if they do something stupid.

Submitted by crunch
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 3:53pm

fluff:
Robinson Chirinos (injured)
Sam Fuld (injured)
Brandon Guyer (AAA, age 26) - .293/.376/.467

keys:
Hak-Ju Lee (AA, age 21) - .248/.315/.327
Chris Archer (AAA, age 23) - 6.75era/1.67whip (24ip 19h 21bb 20k)

Submitted by superjimmer
on Mon, 04/30/2012 - 5:57pm

Not really cult like. I just like what they've done - so I'm naturally supportive. I think its a mega waste to have him on this shit team. Period. It's sound thinking and totally logical to me. And they aren't going to magically be good next year when they are counting on Rizzo and the boys - who will need a couple years in MLB before kicking ass. Everyone here can slappa da bass mon, far as I care. ;) if anything I am impatient to be good and know it can't be done without stocking up more talent.

And for the record, Theo/Jed have been on record as saying they aren't and never have been shopping him. So I am not worshipping at their altar at all. But I'm not like you eey-oring ever move they make like they are town idiots.

I just see a clear path and strategy, and if you are counting on kids like Rizzo Jackson Welington and others . . . They ain't going to be ready before Garza starts needing big dough and being on the downward end of his career potential.

What possible good can Garza do us with this craptastic roster? I'm not here for entertainment after all these years. I want the straightest path to the WS...

Submitted by Rob G.
on Wed, 05/02/2012 - 11:25am

that escalated quickly....

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