Toiling for the P-Cubs

Dear Randy -

You could do a lot worse.

I bet you didn't know that Forbes Magazine ranked Des Moines the #1 city in America for young professionals. And you gotta be the only one around here pulling down $2.7M per annum. You should get out more and explore. That's probably advice you're not used to getting but since you may be here for a while...There's much more than the Court Avenue entertainment district. Broaden your horizons.

Have you been out to the Des Moines Art Center to see the Jackson Pollock display? Hard to believe his "Mural" is supposedly worth more than a Powerball jackpot but one man's doodling is another man's masterpiece, apparently.

Speaking of art, there's the sculpture garden right downtown that's drawn rave reviews since it was installed a few years ago. The annual Art Festival is the last weekend in June and it too ranks very high nationally. It's a great place for trolling, and so is the Farmer's Market down near the ballpark on Saturday mornings if you're up in time.

Are you into golf at all? We host the stop on the Senior Tour that's voted #1 every year by the players. That's probably not your style. Let's see, what else...

There's RAGBRAI, the Tour de Iowa in July when thousands bike across the state en masse, from the wide Missouri to the mighty Mississippi. It's quite a tourist attraction; lots of church ladies pie, homegrown corn on the cob, lemonade and drunken trysts between strangers who never meet again; that sort of thing. But your work schedule won't allow for that I don't suppose.

Looks like you pitched a solid six last night in Fresno and got that ERA down below seven. Maybe Volstad's oblique will get bent out of shape and you'll get recalled back where you feel you belong. Or Samson, I mean Deep Threat, will get a haircut and lose a few mph/games. There are lots of possible scenarios that put you back at Wrigley where you threw that gem to kick off the Memorial Day weekend in 2010. Remember? That game against the Cardinals when I was halfway to Chicago before I realized I forgot the tickets and, long story short, scrambled into my seat right before the anthem, just in time to see you soil yourself and leave without recording an out.

I just hate to see you suffer while you're stuck here pitching in purgatory.

Ever played cribbage?