You know what I did last night?
Went to bed happy.
Slept like a baby, too.
Because in the top of the 12th, as soon as the Cubs took the lead over the Pittsburgh Pirates...the second Anthony Rizzo hit that absolutely gorgeous, stunning homer deep into the right field bleachers...I reached for my wallet and pulled out my shiny new Cubs Take A Lead In An Extra Inning Night Game Go To Bed Free Of Guilt Pass.
It's the AMAZING new product you can print for FREE!
All you have to do is click on the Pass (illustration above) and hit "print".
Best of all, IT'S GUARANTEED TO LET YOU GO TO BED HAPPY!
Why wait for new Cubs closer Jose Veras to walk a guy, hit a guy, and let the tying run score when you could already be snoring with a smile on your face?
Why stay up knowing that the possibility of revolting disaster and nightmare-inducing doom awaits when you could be dreaming of World Series Glory?
Try the new Cubs Take A Lead In An Extra Inning Night Game Go To Bed Free Of Guilt Pass, and... (sing this jingle) WHEN THE OTHER TEAM'S SCORING, YOU'LL BE SNORING.