Game 31 Recap: Cubs 3, Cardinals 5

Three wasted hours, reviewed


W - Wellemeyer (3-1), Sunday Night Baseball "BINGO"
L - Marquis (1-2), trying to live-blog double-switches, HDTV on acne scars
S - Isringhausen (10)


Things to Take from This Game


1. Marquis = Hill?

Jason Marquis walked three in the first, but only gave up one run due to a terrific catch by Lee on a bases loaded, line-drive rocket off the bat of Duncan. He gave up five runs and five walks in five innings, with pretty weak command throughout the night.

2. Everyone = Hill? The only pitcher on either side to strike out more batters than he walked was Isringhausen, and his strikeout came on a "let's hurry up and get out of here" called strike three on Lee to end the game. Between the double switches and the walks and the Joe Morgan, it was a tough game to follow. Seriously, could Miller and Morgan stopped talking about Australian aboriginal farming techniques just long enough to call the game?

3. No Clutch Hitting
The box score shows 23 LOB for the Cubs. Among the more egregious innings were the first (two on, one out, no runs) the fourth (leadoff double doesn't score) and the seventh (bases loaded, one out, one run scores)

4. Soriano Looks Lost
Soriano started out his first ABs by going 0-2, 0-1, 0-2, 0-2, and 0-2. Besides two strikeouts, he did get a single and an RBI sac fly out of all that. But still...


The hum-drum highlights follow....


Game Recap


Inning 1 - Top
  • And we have our first discussion of the Cubs leadoff hitter situation as Soriano strikes out on three pitches.
  • Theriot walks.
  • Lee hits a sharp bouncer to the left of Izturis at SS, who bobbles, tries to flip to the 2Bman with his glove, but the flip is wide, and Kennedy can't handle it. Everybody safe.
  • Fukudome pops to Izturis.
  • Joe Morgan, trying to compare the Japanese majors to the American majors, unartfully winds up calling them minor-leaguers. We'll see how many "Japanese players are..." statements we get tonight...
  • DeRosa K's on a checked swing strike 3. From two on and one out, to a pop fly and strike out end of the inning.
Inning 1 - Bottom
  • Schumaker bounces up the middle to Theriot. Marquis does a nice job of forcing his arms to his sides, resisting the temptation to make a lunge for it. Easy out.
  • Kennedy walks on 5 pitches, bringing up Pujols. This is not wise.
  • That was wise. Pujols K's swinging at a slider/cutter a half foot outside.
  • Ankiel walks. In spite of the Pujols K, Marquis doesn't seem to have any command yet tonight.
  • 2-0 on Glaus, and Rothschild comes out for a chat.
  • Glaus walks on four pitches. We'll see if Marquis gets demoted tomorrow.
  • Ball one on Duncan.
  • Duncan smokes a line drive maybe 4 feet off the ground and to Lee's right. Lee makes a great reaction to it, and snags it with a rolling dive for the finish. Hardest hit ball of the inning, maybe the game, and it ends the inning.
Inning 2 - Top
  • Soto lines a double into the right field corner.
  • Fontenot walks on four straight.
  • 3-1 to Johnson, who lines a double inside the third base bag. Soto scores, 1-0 Cubs
  • ESPN has decided they don't have enough visual clutter on the screen to complement the aural clutter of Joe Morgan, so they've added a little pop up bar above the main score bar at the top of the screen. It tells you what the given hitter does after a certain count, like 0-1 or 2-0.
  • With runners at 2 and 3, Marquis swings away and fouls out to third.
  • Miller exlaims "what a bad at bat that was!"
  • Soriano drives one to the CF warning track, and Fontenot scores on the sacrifice fly. 2-0 Cubs
  • Theriot bounces out to Izturis
Inning 2 - Bottom
  • Molina swings at the first pitch, and bounces one to Theriot. Saying he "jogged" to first would be generous.
  • Morgan explains to us that Pujols is a "great hitter."
  • Wellemeyer singles inside the first base bag.
  • Izturis lines one over Fontenot for a single. Runners at 1 and 2, one out.
  • Schumaker singles to right-center, just out of Fontenot's diving reach. Runner scores, runners on 1 and 3, with a 2-1 score.
  • and Kennedy pulls one through the right side hole, scoring a run, putting runners on 1 and 2 for Pujols. 2-2 game. Lee couldn't quite get to it, having to hold the runner on first
  • First pitch swinging, Pujols hits one up the middle that Theriot makes a lunging grab for. Spinning around, he shovels to Fontenot, who fires to first, where Lee has to sprawl a bit for it. 6-4-3 GIDP off the bat of Pujols to end the inning. Bad start to the game for Prince Albert.
Inning 3 - Top
  • Lee grounds to Izturis.
  • Fukudome walks.
  • Whatever's happening in this inning, it doesn't matter. What matters is babbling inanities about Japanese baseball.
  • It's not so much that Joe Morgan sounds racist or anything when he talks about Japanese baseball, it's that he doesn't know how to discuss the matter thoughtfully or intelligently, and winds up just saying things that make you wince...
  • Somewhere in that pointlessness, DeRosa flied to right. No one at ESPN noticed
  • Soto bounces sharply to third. Glaus handles it, throws him out.
Inning 3 - Bottom
  • Marquis K's Ankiel on, um, something low and inside...
  • Glaus lines one to Soriano, who misjudges the spin and has to make a lunging backhand for it. Hangs on for the out.
  • Duncan walks.
  • Molina bounces to third, easy throw to first. Inning over
Inning 4 - Top
  • And we have our CD promo to start the fourth. And an excuse for mindless banter with Gammons.
  • Fontenot shoots a double down the left field line. Duncan chases his tail around in the corner for awhile, before retrieving the ball in his mouth, and jogging it back in to the infield. Good Duncan.
  • Johnson flies lazily to right, runner has to hold at second. Took a lot of pitches to fail, at least.
  • Marquis bounces sharply to Wellemeyer, who throws to first. Fontenot still stuck at second.
  • Soriano K's swinging on a three pitch at bat. Again. Leadoff double stranded at second.
Inning 4 - Bottom
  • LouPa on Soriano: "I like him in the one-hole, he feels comfortable there."
  • Wellemeyer grounds back to Marquis
  • Izturis lines a single to left center. 2-2 for Izturis, yeesh.
  • Hit and run, Schumaker bounces out to Lee. Izturis to second, two outs.
  • Morgan and Miller seem to be talking about Chess metaphors. Parachat thinks they're stoned. It would explain a lot of things....
  • Kennedy walks, Pujols up with runners at 1 and 2, two outs.
  • Pujols rips one inside the third base bag, on a rolling slider. Both runners score on the double. 4-2 Cards
  • Ankiel pops to DeRosa, ending the inning.
Inning 5 - Top
  • Theriot walks.
  • Lee K's swinging at a slider low and outside.
  • Theriot runs on a pitch that Molina has to reach down and across his body for. From his knees, Molia throws a one-hopper down to second, almost beaning Wellemeyer on the throw. It gets Theriot in plenty of time, for the caught stealing. Sort of unbelievable. Molina gets a standing O.
  • and Fukudome flies out. That was quick.
Inning 5 - Bottom
  • Glaus K's swinging.
  • as does Duncan.
  • Molina bounces easily to Theriot. No one "jogs" more slowly to first than Molina. Easy inning
Inning 6 - Top
  • DeRosa with a broken bat ground out to SS.
  • Wellemeyer taken down for Kyle McClellan. (Who??) Ludwick in for Duncan on a double switch.
  • Soto looks at a nice curve ball on the outside corner for a called strike 3.
  • Fontenot walks.
  • Johnson grounds to Glaus, easy inning
Inning 6 - Bottom
  • Ludwick grounds one just past DeRosa into left field for a single.
  • Izturis grounds out to Lee, Schumaker advances
  • Marquis taken down for Marshall.
  • Sean saws off Schumaker, who rolls one up the first base line. Marshall gloves it and tags him out. An odd looking little out. Schumaker to third.
  • Kennedy floats one in to left center, out of Soriano's reach. Ludwick scores. 5-2.
  • 3-0 to Pujols, with a lefty Ankiel up next. Marshall throws one as far outside as he can without it being an intentional ball, and Pujols walks. Runners on 1 and 2, two outs, for Ankiel.
  • Ankiel swings at the first pitch, gets jammed, and pops out to Soto.
Inning 7 - Top
  • Cedeno pinch hits for Marshall, gets HBP (didn't see it happen, unfortunately.)
  • Guess what? Soriano's down 0-2.
  • But comes back to line one up the middle, to the left of the SS, for a single. Cedeno to second, no outs.
  • Theriot rolls one through the left side hole, Cedeno holds at third. Bases loaded, no outs for Lee.
  • Morgan is surprised the held Cedeno at third. Morgan sholdn't be.
  • Lee flies softly to RF. Runners hold.
  • Randy Flores in to face Fukudome
  • Fukudome flies to straight away center, sacrifice fly, Cedeno scores. Soriano holds at second, in spite of the bad throw going through to home
  • Appeal to third that Cedeno left to soon. Nope. Replay shows it was darn close, but a correct call.
  • Pitching change without going to commercial, gives ESPN a chance to explain what a prince among men, scholar, and humanitarian LaRussa is.
  • Ryan Franklin in to pitch, and Aaron Miles in at second on the double switch. LaRussa games are real challenges for the live-blogging recaps. Somebody donate something to me.
  • DeRosa lines out to center. Bases loaded, one out, just one run scores in the inning
Inning 7 - Bottom
  • Sean Gallagher in, DeRosa out with Cedeno to play third in the double switch.
  • Glaus grounds out to third
  • Miles dumps one into CF for a single
  • Molina waves through a hit and run, and Soto throws out Miles by two steps at second. Great throw on the bag.
  • Molina breaks his bat grounding back to Gallagher
Inning 8 - Top
  • Soto works a full count, walks on a pitch just off the outside corner
  • Fontenot works a full count. Morgan is discussing some Japanese manager who punched people in faces.
  • Meanwhile, Fontenot pops out to Izturis.
  • Johnson flies out to the warning track down the left field line. Close, but definitely didn't get all of it. Two outs.
  • Cedeno battles, but winds up striking out swinging at a low slider. No good comes of the inning.
Inning 8 - Bottom
  • Ludwick pops to Fontenot
  • Izturis lines out to Theriot. Two very quick outs, after the Cubs hitters all battled last inning
  • Good Grief, how many cut aways to Morgan interviewing Pujols can we take?
  • Schumaker grounds out to Theriot.
Inning 9 - Top
  • Isringhausen in for Franklin
  • Soriano grounds weakly to Glaus
  • Theriot pops out to Pujols.
  • Lee takes a low called strike three. Game over.


Parachat Recap
  • Freezing me out of the conversation. Thanks, Crunch.
  • ESPN Bingo: Mark your card with things like Big Red Machine, Importance of Leadoff Hitter, Billy Goats, Bartman, Popular Music Tie-in, etc. etc., and wait for the Sunday Night Baseball crew to discuss or demonstrate it. Fun for everyone!
  • Crappy computer construction.
  • Investing in HDTV or not?
  • Oh dear god.


Inning 1
  • Mocking ESPN and our leadoff hitters.
  • One out in the first and we're already sick of ______
  • Fukudome's acne scars in HD. Wow, tough crowd, tonight.
  • What are we TIVOing?
  • What is Joe Morgan giving you?
  • How many times do you have to shake off a Sinker call, to throw a Sinker?
  • Ankiel is ugly.
  • Reacting to Marquis' bad start.
  • and to Lee's excellent play
Inning 2
  • Mom jokes.
  • Screwing up the "telephone game" Purple monkey dishwashing jerks.
  • Child-molesting broadcasters.
  • Should Johnson have taken third on Soriano's sac fly?
  • Should Soriano feel proud for hitting one to the warning track?
  • We still don't like the broadcasters.
  • Driving balls into gaps.
  • Take one guess what parachat's opinion of the broadcasters is?
  • Drunken boating. Not a good idea.
  • Do we still dislike the ESPN announcers? Yes.
Inning 3
  • Bad movies.
  • Canoeing the Mighty Mississippi naked with John Madden.
  • Not happy with Morgan comparing Fukudome to only two other players, both of them Japanese.
  • Wincing at Joe Morgan's explanation of the state of international baseball.
  • If Joe Morgan were a tree in the forrest and he fell....
  • Are you smarter than a Denny's menu crossword puzzle?

Inning 4

  • An encore performance of Pickle Surprise
  • George Bush vs ______
  • Ultrasuede.
  • Chad wants to know how gay he is...
  • Bowl Scrapers/Stainers is so 2007. 2008 is all about Chad.
  • Are Miller and Morgan stoned? Smart money says yes.
  • Gay Leprechaun Doll for kids: potential names?
  • I get rick roll'd.
  • Punk music youtube links.
  • Who is hiding in the bushes watching me? Carlos and CT Steve, at least
  • Groups we hate.
  • Morgan's man-love for Pujols.
Inning 5
  • What is TCR asking you to do?
  • This room is bloodier than...
  • (oh, dear god.....)
  • Jacos writes parachat porn.
  • Euthanizing Soriano.
  • Pledging a buck to TCR for every Theriot CS. Who wants to join?
  • Marveling at Molina
  • Pulled when sucking.
  • GTA:4
  • Are we more worried about Soriano or the rotation?
  • The Molinas.
  • The Soriano contract
Inning 6
  • How Jim Hendry's record is like a toupee.
  • OF trade options.
  • Lyrics to the Sanford and Son theme song?
  • Great Bears' drafts of yesteryear.
  • Weird dream outfields.
  • Fantacizing about the checkout lady at piggly wiggly.
  • Plucking Bungle's twanger. oh. dear. god.
Inning 7
  • Bilingual mullets. Don't ask.
  • rally caps.
  • Why didn't Soriano take third?
  • Ankiel's pin-point control of needles.
  • Ciallis, Finally Fast and
  • Where'd Gallagher's weight go?
  • How we prove we're gay.
Inning 8
  • Muffin-checking
  • Where Johann and Carlos's moms belong on the field.
  • 21st century electronic mullets.
  • HIV muffins.
  • Japanese skin care.
  • Hit it harder than ________
  • Major RALLY CAPS effort comes up short
  • Which one of us is really JAG?
  • What's Rob doing with our Money?
  • Man-boobs.
  • What are your children doing?

Inning 9

  • disemmination.
  • I'm informed I've been fired. The rest of this recap will be done by a trained golden retriever.
  • Woof.
  • Woof woof woof Sprouting Okra pant pant.
  • Pant pant pant Al Yellon pee pant pant.
  • Bow wow wow jokes about baseball and race pant pant slobber.
  • Is that my tail?
  • Oh, is that my tail?
  • Hey, it's my tail!
  • Where'd my tail go?
  • Help! It's the vacuum cleaner!
  • Isringhausen's leg looks like a good hump.
  • I wonder if the remote control would be fun to eat.
  • Yelp! Trans' recap record, 3-1. Whimper.



That's right: I'm giving $1 for every Theriot CS.

Pay up too, bozos!

I give tonight's parachat a B+.  I give the game a D. 

You did well to stay home for this one, Trans. Ugh. A "D" is about right...Soriano, Marquis did not make me very proud to be wearing a Cubs jersey. And just a poorly-played game overall...the pitching surely wasn't very good, yet no one really hit the ball well. The crowd was most excited, I think, by Theriot's CS--that was a hell of a throw.

However, the recap was a good laugh. I liked the Chris Duncan as hopeless pet dog metaphor.

And what IS Rob doing with our money?

Yeah, in retrospect, there was no realistic way I could make it, Andy.  But thanks for the invite.

 In all seriousness, paying the bills to get us up and running.  But it makes for a good recurring joke. :)

And what IS Rob doing with our money?

naturally, hookers and beers for the TCR retreat up at Wisconsin Dells this summer.

hopefully Trans can avoid getting peppered spray on the boat this time


What happened in the Dells should stay in the Dells, Rob.

Was it on a boat or one of the classic Dells' Ducks?


So we learned that Tony LaRussa is great friends with both Bill Belichick and Bobby Knight. If that was all I knew about the man I'd already know he was an a**hat.

"Help! It's the vacuum cleaner!"

Mmm... kinky. Johann's mom likes the vacuum cleaner, as well.

I'm really disappointed that there were no Garden Claw mentions.

Very complex combination of game and parachat to try to recap.  That, and the fact that most of Parachat was just vile, offensive and crude.  ~grin~

I think you were just too busy playing with your twanger to notice all the good stuff tonight.

Story of my life.

We <3 you.

Parachat was most stormy.

That, and the fact that most of Parachat was just vile, offensive and crude.

I *heart* Parachat.

Ah I missed it when I wasn't here. And of course, I love making the vile, disgusting jokes.

"Jacos writes parachat porn"

Here's the thing, if you go back and see what I wrote not once did I mention the father and the daughter copulating.

I was just drawing up the scenerio as I saw it from that Ciallis commericial.If you have a dirty mind that's your cross to carry.

Besides the older kids (Mr. Wipple, OJ) were encouraging to write more.

I did no such thing. In fact, I ignored you for five minutes as there's a limit to how gross I can take my Parachat. That was truly over the line.

Besides, I'm not so old. Just crotchety! Now get off my lawn!

Encouraging you? No. Attempting to alert the authorities? Yes.

Anybody else notice how much LaRussa switches around his line-up? For example, Ankiel batted #2 on Friday, #6 on Saturday and #4 on Sunday. I'm not sure what it says about LaRussa or the Cards, but I thought that was very interesting. Thoughts?

can we just get rid of soriano for some pitching please.....
there is no fielding position he can play on this team...
he will not bunt
he will not take walks
he will not swing for base hits
he will not protect the plate
he cannot run
he cannot steal

yes id say hes about 17.5 million dollars over paid a year

please please please trade him for a pitcher

No Trade Clause

Dear Mr. Soriano,

It must feel awful to strike out swinging at those pitches that are bouncing weakly along the outside corner of the batter's box, having been low and away to begin with. Failure, especially when done in front of tens of thousands of people, is hard to handle. I understand. SO STOP DOING IT

Pell Mell

P.S. I wrote this same letter to Sammy Sosa in 1996.
P.P.S. Don't do roids.

Do roids if you think it will help.

The Daily Herald suggests that Felix Pie could be headed to the minor leagues.

Pie has continued to struggle at the plate, and right-handed Reed Johnson got the start against a righty on Sunday. Ronny Cedeno has started taking fly balls in center field, and the paper speculates that with Cedeno as an emergency option, Pie could be sent to Triple-A Iowa.

Billy Petrick made his season debut for Single-A Daytona on Sunday and pitched 1 2/3 scoreless innings.

This is the quote of the week for me:

"He was standing up there at the charity event talking about the importance of family," says one person who attended the event. "Then I see him in the casino with these two girls, rubbing the die on their [breasts]."

Just the latest in the Clemens drama at the New York Daily News, some great reads over there:

Did Miller say that the four batters combined to see 28 pitches in the eighth inning? And all we got out of it is one stinkin' walk ... isn't that just bad luck or great clutch pitching by Franklin? (Does this qualify as Cubbery?) This team will be fine. We forced LaRussa's hand as far as getting Wellemeyer out of there after five innings, and we got into their middle relief.

BTW, if you expect Soriano to lay down sacrifice bunts for his salary, then you're underutilizing him.

Also BTW, aren't a lot of fans hypocrites (not necessarily on this Web site)? They find one whipping boy, be it Barrett or Jacque or now Soriano. Then, out of the other side of their mouth, they talk about how it is a team game and that you win as a team and lose as a team.

For some reason, Derrek Lee had a horrendous game last night. He's earned the right. But he and Marquis (and Ramirez's absence) were the primary reasons why we lost last night.

"Bowl Scrapers/Stainers is so 2007. 2008 is all about Chad."

As if the 2000 wasn't already enough for you.

Recent comments

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  • if they dont win at least 130 games this season they can pack it all up, turn wrigley into a concert venue, and move the damn team to san jose.


    crunch 8 hours 3 min ago view
  • I see where catcher Cael Brockmeyer was promoted to Tennessee a couple of days ago, to fill a roster spot vacated by David Freitas, recently promoted to Iowa. Caratini is the other catcher at Tennessee.

    VirginiaPhil 8 hours 6 min ago view
  • They've already clinched a minimum winning percentage of .607 for the month, and that's only if they lose the last 2 games. If they win both, they can push that up to .679. So much for "stumbling" in May. When you're winning over 60% of your games, you're doing baseball well.

    John Beasley 9 hours 20 min ago view
  • If the best walk-off hit possible is a solo home run in a zero-zero game--Eloy did it tonight!

    (But maybe it's a grand slam when your team is down three? He didn't do that.)

    Number eight for Jimenez. His team is 31-17. Yesterday they scored 17 runs against Lansing. Two weeks ago it was 15 runs against the same team. This is a nice team, South Bend. The Cubs must have had a good draft last year.

    Tonight the pitchers were Sands, Brooks and Effross.

    VirginiaPhil 9 hours 27 min ago view
  • RIP Zoobrest.

    crunch 11 hours 1 min ago view
  • He'll be fine. He's not some wimpy young pup.

    Old and Blue 11 hours 31 min ago view
  • In all seriousness the Cubs have the fewest amount of games played in the NL which means they're gonna be facing quite the grind later on including 24 games in a row at the end of June and beginning of July so I hope he does get a few days off.

    johann 13 hours 27 min ago view
  • Meh. He only got one hit today. Maybe give him a rest?

    Old and Blue 14 hours 3 min ago view
  • 34-14...awww yeah.

    crunch 14 hours 59 min ago view
  • Good thing the Cubs have five left-handed batters in the lineup. Velasquez is just tearing thru the righties [edit - doesn't seem to faze Bryant!]

    Eric S 16 hours 20 min ago view
  • ben zobrist gets to ride up front tonight cause he's a good guy at sports.

    cubs with a 5 run lead and a lackey shutout through 3ip \m/

    crunch 16 hours 54 min ago view
  • HAGSAG: I have not seen Joe Nathan out on the field, but he is supposedly at the UAPC. 

    Arizona Phil 19 hours 50 min ago view
  • ERIC S: Best outing I've ever seen from Manny Rondon, and I've seen most of his outings since the Cubs got him from the Angels. 

    M. Rondon is competing with six others (Dylan Cease, Bryan Hudson, Jose Paulino, Pedro Silverio, Jesus Castillo, and Erling Moreno) for a starting slot at Eugene, and (as you can probably tell from the EXST box scores)  the competition has gotten fierce over the last couple of weeks, With the exception of Moreno, the Eugene SP candidates have upped their game lately, and M. Rondon's outing yesterday was especially impressive/dominating. 

    Arizona Phil 19 hours 53 min ago view
  • E-MAN: Pierce Johnsion was mixing a 92-94 MPH fastball with a plus-change-up AND curve, and he threw strike-after-strike-after-strike with all three of his pitches. I believe that was the best command and pitch-efficiency I've ever seen from Johnson, who often pitches from behind in the count and issues too many walks.  

    Of course now he has to avoid a recurrence of the lat strain (whch he has had previously in his career) as well as all of the other miscellaneous physical problems he's had over the last three years (hamstring, quad, back, etc).  

    Arizona Phil 20 hours 3 min ago view
  • PHIL: Any movement on P. Johnsons pitches? What was his "out" pitch? I know he was working on a 4th pitch, so wondering what he is looking like these days. Thanks.

    The E-Man 20 hours 45 min ago view
  • AZ Phil, has Nathan showed up in Mesa yet? Thanks.

    Hagsag 1 day 1 hour ago view