Spring Training Narratives: The Mad-Libs Edition.
I was meaning to write a nice update of spring training storylines like Rob has done in the post below, but I'm too busy
reading rejection letters from Universities being chased by spurned Valentines to scour the globe for the informative content that you, the reader deserve.
Then I remembered that it's spring training, and the stories write themselves.
So here are your Mad Libs that need filling in. The story itself is below the fold. (No peeking until you've entered your words!)
1. A Cubs Player
2. A number
3. A celebrity
4. A food
5. A gerund (a verb + ing)
6. A noun
7. A Cubs Player
8. A body part
9. A medical procedure
10. A number
11. A roster position
12. A Cubs Player
13. An adjective
14. A Cubs Player
15. An Adjective
16. A player from another baseball team
17. A sports reporter
18. A retired player
19. An adjective
20. A roster position
21. A feature of Wrigley Field
22. + 23. Two corporations
24. An occupation
25 + 26. Two Celebrities
27. A tragedy
28. A Cubs Player
29. A noun.
As spring training begins,  appears to be in the best shape of his life.  lost  pounds in the offseason by adopting  's fitness plan. This plan involves eating only  and a daily exercise routine of  .
 isn't the only Cub trying to get into mid-season form. Concerns about  's  linger. While  insists he will be ready to go on opening day, others fear that only  will fix the problem. Lou Piniella is relying on  to make at least  starts this year.
Wile most of the roster is settled, one of the top positional battles is for , where  appears to be the favorite but has to compete with more  candidates like . If no one steps up, General Manager Jim Hendry may be forced to sign or trade for a  veteran like . While  is reporting the rumor, Hendry says there has been no effort to coax  out of retirement and play for the team.
Finally, when the team breaks camp and heads for Chicago, expect some  new attractions. In an effort to boost revenue so that Hendry can sign more s, the Cubs have added advertising to the . The ads are specifically designed to fit in with Wrigley's historic ambiance. Among the prominent brands to be found will be  and . Also, a new host of celebrity guest conductors will find their way to the booth for the Seventh Inning Stretch. We don't want to give away too much, but expect to see legendary   perform, and  will be making his (her) first appearnce since .  is a self-professed fan, and hopes to ask him (her) for his (her) .
I think it's probably hard to adjust to an ump's zone mid-game, as least for hitters. Pitchers can locate to an ump's zone, but hitters have minimal time to react.
But, whatever. Umps are going to miss calls. Let's beat up on the non-Lackey starters.
Watched a little of Mets-Dodgers.
Jason deGrom -- oh, my.
Cubs 3-4-5 hitters are 0-21 so far in the post-season.
Let's change that in a big effin' way tomorrow, boys.
Considering how players reacted it seemed pretty accurate high and wide (to righties), but not so accurate low and in. I thought the strike zone by the ump was awful, but it was consistent and the Cubs never adjusted.
Rizzo and Bryant need to have good at bats. They are really looking outclassed in these two games.
that game sounds fun as hell.
I was just wondering the same thing. I'd rather not see it at all. If it's inaccurate, it's a bad viewer experience. If it's accurate, it shows some shitty calling by the umpire.
TBS' K Zone seems to be more harsh than the others.
I wonder if MLB will ask the networks to stop using them. They just make the umps, and the game, look bad, and it only pisses off the fans.
"Strop vs. Cardinals." Seen the movie. Hated it.
Not all that disappointed -- I didn't think they would beat Lackey in Game 1. Need to get the bats going against the guys with less experience -- and they hit Wacha pretty good.
Rizzo has been slumping the last couple weeks of the season. Very disappointed it has continued during his penultimate moment of his career to date.
Really doesn't matter, but I was surprised to see Lester pulled and Strop pulled in. Should of left Lester in. oy.
Sweet merciful fuck, I hate the Cardinals.
Really doesn't matter, but I was surprised to see Lester out for the 8th. Down 1-0, at 100 pitches, seemed better to give a very fresh bullpen a little work.
Oh well...Throw away game, although in a 5 game series there is no luxury afforded to do that.
This game is not on Lester - he did his job
Had a lot of hope hanging on that deep Fowler fly in the sixth.
Really despise the Cards