Spring Training Narratives: The Mad-Libs Edition.
I was meaning to write a nice update of spring training storylines like Rob has done in the post below, but I'm too busy
reading rejection letters from Universities being chased by spurned Valentines to scour the globe for the informative content that you, the reader deserve.
Then I remembered that it's spring training, and the stories write themselves.
So here are your Mad Libs that need filling in. The story itself is below the fold. (No peeking until you've entered your words!)
1. A Cubs Player
2. A number
3. A celebrity
4. A food
5. A gerund (a verb + ing)
6. A noun
7. A Cubs Player
8. A body part
9. A medical procedure
10. A number
11. A roster position
12. A Cubs Player
13. An adjective
14. A Cubs Player
15. An Adjective
16. A player from another baseball team
17. A sports reporter
18. A retired player
19. An adjective
20. A roster position
21. A feature of Wrigley Field
22. + 23. Two corporations
24. An occupation
25 + 26. Two Celebrities
27. A tragedy
28. A Cubs Player
29. A noun.
As spring training begins,  appears to be in the best shape of his life.  lost  pounds in the offseason by adopting  's fitness plan. This plan involves eating only  and a daily exercise routine of  .
 isn't the only Cub trying to get into mid-season form. Concerns about  's  linger. While  insists he will be ready to go on opening day, others fear that only  will fix the problem. Lou Piniella is relying on  to make at least  starts this year.
Wile most of the roster is settled, one of the top positional battles is for , where  appears to be the favorite but has to compete with more  candidates like . If no one steps up, General Manager Jim Hendry may be forced to sign or trade for a  veteran like . While  is reporting the rumor, Hendry says there has been no effort to coax  out of retirement and play for the team.
Finally, when the team breaks camp and heads for Chicago, expect some  new attractions. In an effort to boost revenue so that Hendry can sign more s, the Cubs have added advertising to the . The ads are specifically designed to fit in with Wrigley's historic ambiance. Among the prominent brands to be found will be  and . Also, a new host of celebrity guest conductors will find their way to the booth for the Seventh Inning Stretch. We don't want to give away too much, but expect to see legendary   perform, and  will be making his (her) first appearnce since .  is a self-professed fan, and hopes to ask him (her) for his (her) .
Wait...you're flip-flopping again?!
Is this legal? What is the rule here on opining definitively and then changing your mind?
I am not only surprised at your declaration, but Cutler's better 2015 showing. I don't get it - he went through Martz, Turner, Trestman, Kromer, and now Gase...and he is still here! And. he'll be here mext year too.
Happ signs w Jays
Morsi saying Price won't be a Jay
needs more d.beeler and e.jokisch
As an Illinois tax payer I appreciate what they r doing
+ Bankruptcy Court
2 spots left on the 40-man...wonder if they're going to play around in the rule-5 market...
A special after day after Thanksgiving thanks to AZ for his insanely detailed posts on all things roster. I don't know how you keep track of all that stuff - I suspect a chip implant, but whatever it is, it's cool.
...the wrong half.
there's nothing like crapping out of the playoffs with a strong/young cheap team after pinching pennies for years then having theo talk about having to be creative with money to make things work for 2016...but hey, baseball isn't baseball without a farmer's market and beer garden plaza with ice rinks.
they can do both...then again, if you want to look at it from a business point of view, they don't have to do both because the team is expected to be competitive and the merch+tickets+eyes-on-team are going to be at a peak unless they fail badly.
They are trying to bring the facility to the 20th century.
I think they know what they are doing.
With the Cubs adding Pierce Johnson to their roster and not exposing/losing him to the Rule 5 Draft keeps the trade ancestry tree alive that started in 1999 with Tom Gordon and undrafted Adam Morrissey and includes 17 players, the trade tree progressed to involve the Hee Sop Choi for Derrek Lee deal and the famous Aramis Ramirez/Kenny Lofton deal..Pierce Johnson is the compensation pick for Aramis Ramirez in 2012
the Rex brothers?
Yeah, the Rex brothers, Tyrannosaurus and Oedipus