Monday Funnies: Manny Ramirez is a AAA Cub Player Coach

Happy Memorial Day Weekend at the Party of the Century!

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Kalish down, Ruggiano activated

That should help the team about 0%.

Also, how in the world does anyone justify Olt not starting with Petit on the mound?

Cptn. Happy frickin hates him for some reason. Let's sit Rizzo and Castro after every ofer. I'm sure they'd respond reall well. And against a lefty now?

Honestly it's so bizarre that I can only think the Cubs feel Valbuena and SureHolds (and Barney) are trade bait along with Shark. I would be surprised if Schierholtz plays much at all after the trade deadline if they aren't able to move him. I think the Cubs are likely going for a last run of trade fodder before they attempt to start bringing guys up and handing out jobs. I just can't believe they are this stupid. That includes Ricky. It's just a big extended spring training and they are trying to fatten certain cows. The big question is will ANYONE else approach the desperation the Rangers had the last two years at the deadline.

Edit: that goes for Bonifacio and a couple more pitchers too ...

" Hi, fellow GM! It's me! Theo! Hey, I've got some players I'd like to talk about....Schierholz & Barney! A package deal! What do you say? Really? Wow -- I didn't even know team still HAD minor league players at the "C" level."

Ryan Kalish will qualify for Salary Arbitration post-2014 if he accrues at least 139 days of MLB Service Time in 2014, or he could qualify for Salary Aribtration as a "Super Two" with at least 86 days of MLB Service Time accrued in 2014.

Prior to being optioned, Kalish had accrued 57 days of MLB Service Time in 2014. If the Cubs leave him at Iowa and wait until September 1st (when rosters expand) to recall him, he will accrue 85 days of MLB Service Time in 2014.

Savvy.

Or they could just release him.

I don't understand this comment. Do you have something against Kalish?

Meh.

Funny stuff, Tim. My talking hallucinatory goat is an instigator, too.

Manny, to the Iowa kids: "I took PEDs, and I made over $100 million playing baseball. ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS! Without baseball, I would be living in a shack and eating dog food. Thanks to baseball, I have more money than I could ever need. But, you? The guy hitting .220 in AAA, who signed out of high school and has no other realistic career options? No, you should not take PEDs."

if the PED control and enforcement has taught us anything...

...if you're a minor leaguer and smoke some weed, you will derail your career...but you can have all the booze and painkillers you want as long as you can get a prescription in your injury filled career choice.

...if you take PEDs at any level at AAA or beyond...especially if you don't get caught for a while...you can have a long and occasionally well paid career.

...if you get caught taking PEDs you will be shunned from baseball and potential teammates, probably ending your career...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...no seriously, you'll get to play (sometimes with a raise in pay over past years) until you're too broken to take the field...and then you get hired to teach/coach kids for a few decades or until you get bored...and the home crowd will give you a standing O to show support much in the same way they give a standing O to a random military person singing at the game or a person in a wheelchair who overcame something or other throwing out a 1st pitch.

fun stuff.

If you're going to bring in somebody to teach the kids how to benefit from PEDs, at least they could have found somebody better at not getting caught. It's like hiring a finance professor who just filed for bankruptcy.

may 26th...1st surehold HR. wut...

FInally, Shark wins.

Now, maybe someone will give us something for him.

/good baseball face

They really need to move him now before Cubbery sets in.

Rizzo's double today was his....5th....of the season? Yeeps.

Mike Krukow on the Giants broadcasting team was saying he's not using his legs at all on pitcher counts from what he is seeing, so that would affect his power numbers. I think that's probably been a necessary adjustment and that will change a bit over time

He's definitely shortened his swing dramatically when he's got 2 strikes on him. And with 2 strikes he's putting up .219/.311/.314. With the pitcher ahead he's putting up .181/.192/.250.

Let's comp that to Joey Votto, who seems to be the kind of hitter that Rizzo is trying to turn into. In his career Votto has done this with two strikes: .210/.319/.330 - very close to Rizzo's 2014 numbers. With pitchers ahead, he's done this: .235/.243/.366, significantly better than Rizzo's numbers.

So what's the difference? It's what they've done in and following 0-1 counts.

Rizzo 0-1: .000/.000/.000
Rizzo after 0-1: .234/.294/.372

Votto 0-1: .380/.393/.662
Votto after 0-1: .272/.349/.451

Basically, pitchers who have been able to get ahead of Rizzo on the first pitch this year have been able to turn him into a slightly more powerful version of Darwin Barney. Pitchers who have thrown him a first-pitch ball have put him on base in some way 48.4% of the time. And while he's only swung at that first pitch 20 times this season, he's produced a .450/.500/.900 line by doing so.

So the numbers might help support Krukow's claim. Rizzo needs to find his slugger swing when he's 0-1 (and 1-1). He can basically do exactly what he's done in all the other counts and still be Joey Votto--actually, he's done better in 2014 than Votto's career numbers in most other counts.

Good stuff!

Funny stuff.

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  • so...

    anyone else ready for the all-star break? =p

    it's been a tough past couple weeks...except that reds series. i miss playing the reds. that was cool.

    crunch 2 hours 40 min ago view
  • To take my mind of this latest disaster...wow, I thought baseball money was crazy, but NBA money is now super-wacko crazy. Joakim Noah is 31 with bad knees and absolutely no offensive game. He can't make a layup. The Knicks just agreed to pay him $72M over 4 years. Holy crap.

    billybucks 3 hours 36 min ago view
  • "if"?

    billybucks 3 hours 40 min ago view
  • Thank you, Jason, for allowing me to get to bed at a decent hour. Very thoughtful.

    It will be very interesting to see what Theo does at the deadline. Of course, if Jake doesn't get straightened out, it really doesn't matter. A lot of Jake's comments this year, and his posing for nudie pics in the ESPN magazine, rang some alarm bells -- after one great year (and it was amazingly great), his head has swelled tremendously. Jake, look up the word "hubris", then look in the mirror.

    billybucks 3 hours 40 min ago view
  • ...and we're back from the 3rd rain delay.

    crunch 3 hours 41 min ago view
  • at least the cubs have a decent backup of...ummmm....well the minor league system has...uhhh...hmmm.

    maybe adam warren can manage to throw less than 100 pitches in 5 innings? no?

    well damn.

    crunch 3 hours 49 min ago view
  • Not to worry -- I'm sure Hammel will finish strong in the 2nd half of the season (~sad chuckle, reaches for Scotch bottle~).

    billybucks 3 hours 55 min ago view
  • Hammel has had a rather challenging last month. I am hoping post-break that Hendrix gets pushed ahead of him. They'll be lucky to win a game in NY

    The E-Man 4 hours 14 min ago view
  • hey, alright...cubs losing by 9 and a 3rd rain delay. awesome.

    crunch 4 hours 24 min ago view
  • If baseball does not work out for Patton, I think he's got a future in Civil War re-enactments. He's got a solid Johnny-Reb look to him.

    Eric S 4 hours 28 min ago view
  • David Ross - the mound awaits you.

    Eric S 4 hours 36 min ago view
  • RIP jason hammel's awesome ERA.

    10 ER in 4ip...almost a full point tacked on tonight, alone. 5HR given up tonight. oogly.

    crunch 4 hours 39 min ago view
  • Nimmo certainly does not want to see the Cubs leave town. His first MLB rbi last night and now his first HR.

    At least Hammel is eating some innings ... this is the kind of game Peralta should be used if at all.

    Eric S 4 hours 47 min ago view
  • OK, the hell with it.

    It's July 1 -- Hammel starting to suck right on schedule.

    Other than sweeping the Reds -- a bad team actively trying to lose -- this will make 8 losses in 9 games to good teams (Cards, Marlins, Mets). Not good at all.

    billybucks 4 hours 51 min ago view
  • Belicheat a consultant for the Red Sox?

    Eric S 5 hours 12 min ago view
  • And, so, Jason Hammel decides to test my new resolution right away. Sheesh.

    No Wright, no Duda, no Granderson -- no problem for NY. Ugh.

    billybucks 5 hours 18 min ago view