Monday Funnies: Manny Ramirez is a AAA Cub Player Coach

Happy Memorial Day Weekend at the Party of the Century!


Kalish down, Ruggiano activated

That should help the team about 0%.

Also, how in the world does anyone justify Olt not starting with Petit on the mound?

Cptn. Happy frickin hates him for some reason. Let's sit Rizzo and Castro after every ofer. I'm sure they'd respond reall well. And against a lefty now?

Honestly it's so bizarre that I can only think the Cubs feel Valbuena and SureHolds (and Barney) are trade bait along with Shark. I would be surprised if Schierholtz plays much at all after the trade deadline if they aren't able to move him. I think the Cubs are likely going for a last run of trade fodder before they attempt to start bringing guys up and handing out jobs. I just can't believe they are this stupid. That includes Ricky. It's just a big extended spring training and they are trying to fatten certain cows. The big question is will ANYONE else approach the desperation the Rangers had the last two years at the deadline.

Edit: that goes for Bonifacio and a couple more pitchers too ...

" Hi, fellow GM! It's me! Theo! Hey, I've got some players I'd like to talk about....Schierholz & Barney! A package deal! What do you say? Really? Wow -- I didn't even know team still HAD minor league players at the "C" level."

Ryan Kalish will qualify for Salary Arbitration post-2014 if he accrues at least 139 days of MLB Service Time in 2014, or he could qualify for Salary Aribtration as a "Super Two" with at least 86 days of MLB Service Time accrued in 2014.

Prior to being optioned, Kalish had accrued 57 days of MLB Service Time in 2014. If the Cubs leave him at Iowa and wait until September 1st (when rosters expand) to recall him, he will accrue 85 days of MLB Service Time in 2014.


Or they could just release him.

I don't understand this comment. Do you have something against Kalish?


Funny stuff, Tim. My talking hallucinatory goat is an instigator, too.

Manny, to the Iowa kids: "I took PEDs, and I made over $100 million playing baseball. ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS! Without baseball, I would be living in a shack and eating dog food. Thanks to baseball, I have more money than I could ever need. But, you? The guy hitting .220 in AAA, who signed out of high school and has no other realistic career options? No, you should not take PEDs."

if the PED control and enforcement has taught us anything...

...if you're a minor leaguer and smoke some weed, you will derail your career...but you can have all the booze and painkillers you want as long as you can get a prescription in your injury filled career choice.

...if you take PEDs at any level at AAA or beyond...especially if you don't get caught for a can have a long and occasionally well paid career.

...if you get caught taking PEDs you will be shunned from baseball and potential teammates, probably ending your seriously, you'll get to play (sometimes with a raise in pay over past years) until you're too broken to take the field...and then you get hired to teach/coach kids for a few decades or until you get bored...and the home crowd will give you a standing O to show support much in the same way they give a standing O to a random military person singing at the game or a person in a wheelchair who overcame something or other throwing out a 1st pitch.

fun stuff.

If you're going to bring in somebody to teach the kids how to benefit from PEDs, at least they could have found somebody better at not getting caught. It's like hiring a finance professor who just filed for bankruptcy.

may 26th...1st surehold HR. wut...

FInally, Shark wins.

Now, maybe someone will give us something for him.

/good baseball face

They really need to move him now before Cubbery sets in.

Rizzo's double today was his....5th....of the season? Yeeps.

Mike Krukow on the Giants broadcasting team was saying he's not using his legs at all on pitcher counts from what he is seeing, so that would affect his power numbers. I think that's probably been a necessary adjustment and that will change a bit over time

He's definitely shortened his swing dramatically when he's got 2 strikes on him. And with 2 strikes he's putting up .219/.311/.314. With the pitcher ahead he's putting up .181/.192/.250.

Let's comp that to Joey Votto, who seems to be the kind of hitter that Rizzo is trying to turn into. In his career Votto has done this with two strikes: .210/.319/.330 - very close to Rizzo's 2014 numbers. With pitchers ahead, he's done this: .235/.243/.366, significantly better than Rizzo's numbers.

So what's the difference? It's what they've done in and following 0-1 counts.

Rizzo 0-1: .000/.000/.000
Rizzo after 0-1: .234/.294/.372

Votto 0-1: .380/.393/.662
Votto after 0-1: .272/.349/.451

Basically, pitchers who have been able to get ahead of Rizzo on the first pitch this year have been able to turn him into a slightly more powerful version of Darwin Barney. Pitchers who have thrown him a first-pitch ball have put him on base in some way 48.4% of the time. And while he's only swung at that first pitch 20 times this season, he's produced a .450/.500/.900 line by doing so.

So the numbers might help support Krukow's claim. Rizzo needs to find his slugger swing when he's 0-1 (and 1-1). He can basically do exactly what he's done in all the other counts and still be Joey Votto--actually, he's done better in 2014 than Votto's career numbers in most other counts.

Good stuff!

Funny stuff.

Recent comments

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  • Its not official until AZ Phil adds him to the Cubs Depth Chart!

  • Just freakin love it!

  • From Keith Law:

  • This from a Kiley McDaniel chat a couple weeks ago...

    "Comment From Wrenzie
    Who has more ceiling between Yusniel Diaz or Eddy Julio Martinez?

    Kiley McDaniel: Martinez. I have Eddy (20 years old) as a 65 runner with a 55 arm and 50 raw power that profiles as an everyday CF that could be above average depending on if the bat is a 45 or a 55. I have Yusniel (19) as a 60 runner with a 55 arm and 40 raw power that can be an everyday guy if he hits enough (50 or 55)."

  • "Per Jesse Sanchez at, Cubs reportedly have signed 20-year old Cuban OF Eddy Julio Martinez for $3M bonus.
    Arizona Phil 7 hours 23 min ago"

  • it's day old news, and it's got nothing to do with the cubs, but ichiro signed a $2m deal with MIA (with a $2m option for 2017).

    neat. 41 years old and damn close to 3000 hits.

    also, rain delays suck.

  • take that giants

  • I think that if a team objects to the 1-game wildcard playin game so much, they could just win the pennant and avoid themselves the trouble.

  • Per Jesse Sanchez at, Cubs reportedly have signed 20-year old Cuban OF Eddy Julio Martinez for $3M bonus. 

  • BLOCK: Of course any advantage is an advantage. An MLB, NBA, or NHL team getting the extra game at home in a seven game series is an advantage, I just don't think it is enough of an advantage for winning a division and/or having the best record in a conference or league over the course of an 82-game season (NBA and NHL) or 162 game series (MLB).

  • TEX takes the opening game from TOR (@TOR) 5-3.

    TOR lost bautista + donaldson in-game due to injuries...TEX lost beltre...dunno if any will be lingering issues leading to missed games.

  • Ride the Kid Magic! Schwarber hadn't homered in a long time before last night.

  • Greg Maddux was 8-18 in his rookie season. Kyle has the 8 wins down pat.

    Think Baby Maddux.

    Prof. Harold Hill's THINK system at work.

    Kyle is on the far left.

  • I support this. Hendricks has not only looked better lately but seems to start struggling after a few innings which is better than the 1st in the playoffs.

  • Just tweeted via Jesse Rogers: Hendricks starting Game 2. Wow. Just wow.

  • That was good!