Bon Jovi Sucks

After yesterday's heart-ripper-outer of a game, the Cubs have lost seven of eight for the first time since last June. They still have a four-game division lead and an 84.5% chance of winning the division, thanks to the Brewers losing five of their last seven, so things are not actually as bleak as they may seem. (And yes, the chances of them missing the playoffs entirely are very, very small. But we're not discussing that. Yet.). Still, with Zambrano and Harden in various levels of gimpitude, the collective angst here in Chicago is not unfounded. As Rob wrote earlier today, Harden is scheduled to pitch on Thursday, and Zambrano on Saturday, so we'll know more (and know just how freaked out to be) in a week or so.

In the meantime, maybe WXRT's Lin Brehmer is right and the Cubs are suffering under The Curse Of Jon Bon Jovi. Apparently the Cubs are playing "Living on a Prayer" during pitching changes. "Living on a Prayer"? Seriously?

It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.
We've got each other and that's a lot for love
We'll give it a shot.
Whoah, we're half way there
Whoah, livin' on a prayer

I don't think "it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not" adequately captures the true feelings of Cubs fans (not to mention players and management). The Cubs aren't "living on a prayer," either; they're living on strong pitching (expect for the 9th inning yesterday), solid defense (ditto), and the best offense in the National League.

Of course, a textual analysis of the problems with "Living On a Prayer" doesn't address just how crappy Bon Jovi is. I mean, seriously, I understand how the desire to appeal to the widest possible audience often manifests itself in a rush to the lowest common denominator, but this is ridiculous.

I wish I had a long list of viable, higher-quality alternatives to offer, because we're all about solutions here at TCR, but alas the last few weeks have reduced my brain's capacity for that sort of critical thinking to almost nil. But for starters, how about "Nothing To Fear (But Fear Itself)" by Oingo Boingo?

I await better suggestions in the comments. In the meantime, I will officially add my voice to Lin Brehmer's: no more Jovi at Wrigley. Not now, not ever. Life's too short to listen to bad pop metal.