I can see the Simpsons animating this one (with a guest appearance from heaven by Ricardo Montalbán).
byline, Nick Cough-fart-doo and Kent Brockman:
The Red Sox announced the completion of the Theo Epstein compensation package today. The Cubs will receive as their PTBNL, the bone spur from Chris Carpenter's elbow in a jar of formaldehyde.
Would the Red Sox really refer one of their newest hurlers to (video link) Dr. Nick?
On a more serious note, it's not a good spring to be named Chris Carpenter. The Cardinals ace pitcher has a significant pinched nerve somewhere between his neck and pitching shoulder that has caused some weakness and discomfort. According to the St. Louis media his timetable to return to the Cardinals rotation isn't certain.
News broke out of Red Sox camp yesterday as fans were wondering why "the other Carp" had only thrown 2 innings all spring. Former Cub, Chris Carpenter tweeted:
“Headed into surgery tomorrow with Dr Andrews to remove a bone spur in my elbow,’’ “Stayin positive and prepared to work harder than ever to come back as soon as I can this season.’’
I'm Spur-ed on to write just a little more, after the break...
Update: (Thursday noon, CST), per a Carrie Muskat tweet:
RedSox send 1B Jair Bogaerts to Cubs to complete compensation deal for Theo. Batted .288 in Dominican Summer League. He's 19.