Cub Chris Carpenter

Revenge is a Dish Best Served in Formaldehyde

I can see the Simpsons animating this one (with a guest appearance from heaven by Ricardo Montalbán).

byline, Nick Cough-fart-doo and Kent Brockman:

The Red Sox announced the completion of the Theo Epstein compensation package today.  The Cubs will receive as their PTBNL, the bone spur from Chris Carpenter's elbow in a jar of formaldehyde.

Would the Red Sox really refer one of their newest hurlers to (video link) Dr. Nick?

On a more serious note, it's not a good spring to be named Chris Carpenter. The Cardinals ace pitcher has a significant pinched nerve somewhere between his neck and pitching shoulder that has caused some weakness and discomfort. According to the St. Louis media his timetable to return to the Cardinals rotation isn't certain.

News broke out of Red Sox camp yesterday as fans were wondering why "the other Carp" had only thrown 2 innings all spring.  Former Cub, Chris Carpenter tweeted:

“Headed into surgery tomorrow with Dr Andrews to remove a bone spur in my elbow,’’  “Stayin positive and prepared to work harder than ever to come back as soon as I can this season.’’

I'm Spur-ed on to write just a little more, after the break...


Update: (Thursday noon, CST), per a Carrie Muskat tweet:

RedSox send 1B Jair Bogaerts to Cubs to complete compensation deal for Theo. Batted .288 in Dominican Summer League. He's 19.

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  • Attaboy, Eloy! Jimenez named Midwest League MVP and Best Prospect.

    Gonzalez and Morrison also honored.

    VirginiaPhil 37 min 12 sec ago view
  • QuietMan 10 hours 48 min ago view
  • FYI, formatting of the web page is weird.

    JoePepitone 13 hours 23 min ago view
  • Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particularly glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.

    Jackstraw 13 hours 34 min ago view
  • White Sox new stadium name w apropos logo

    https://mobile.twitter.com/SportsCenter/status/768...

    jacos 14 hours 15 min ago view
  • it was between that and "more like the CRUNCH REALLY EARLY AM REPORTER because i'm gonna c.r.e.am all over this place."

    i chose the classy route.

    crunch 14 hours 17 min ago view
  • Rob G. 14 hours 28 min ago view
  • that was the 2nd greatest piece of performance art since Donald Trump's campaign

    Rob G. 14 hours 29 min ago view
  • 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌👌🎩👓🎩👍🎩👓🎩👍🎩 euphoric logic !euphoric loGic👌 thats ✔ some euphoric👌💻 logic right👌💻there👌👍👌 Carl 🔭 Sagan🌌💫if i do ƽaү so gentlemen 💯 i say so 💯 thats euPhoric logic right there Richard 📒 Dawkins🎩 (chorus: socrates died for this shit) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👓👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌🎩 👌 💯 👌 👓🎩🎩🎩 👍👌euphoric logic slam me the FUCK uP 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 john cena JOhN cEna

    crunch 14 hours 55 min ago view
  • You can start the CRUNCH EARLY AM REPORTER. Then you can blog to yourself, and argue with yourself about Jon Lester.

    The E-Man 16 hours 5 min ago view
  • my current job has me coming in at 7am (eastern)...i miss staying up til 2am to watch west coast games.

    crunch 17 hours 47 min ago view
  • Remember when west coast road trips were a good time to catch up on some reading?

    Old and Blue 18 hours 5 min ago view
  • Taboola field is more appropriate.

    Old and Blue 18 hours 5 min ago view
  • we can only hope...

    The things you have to do to pay for James Shields contract.

    Rob G. 18 hours 47 min ago view
  • I wonder if they'll have to make use of the Guaranteed Rate logo, which is a giant red arrow pointing downward.
    https://www.guaranteedrate.com

    Brick 18 hours 52 min ago view
  • unsurprisingly, the White Sox continue a tradition of stupid stuff....

    @DannyEcker BREAKING: Guaranteed Rate has purchased naming rights to U.S. Cellular Field. Will be known as Guaranteed Rate Field thru 2030.

    Rob G. 18 hours 55 min ago view