Satire

Spring Training Narratives: The Mad-Libs Edition.

I was meaning to write a nice update of spring training storylines like Rob has done in the post below, but I'm too busy reading rejection letters from Universities being chased by spurned Valentines to scour the globe for the informative content that you, the reader deserve.

Then I remembered that it's spring training, and the stories write themselves.

So here are your Mad Libs that need filling in.  The story itself is below the fold.  (No peeking until you've entered your words!)

 

1. A Cubs Player

2. A number

3. A celebrity

4. A food

5.  A gerund (a verb + ing) 

6.  A noun

7. A Cubs Player

8.  A body part

9.  A medical procedure

10.  A number

11.  A roster position

12. A Cubs Player

13. An adjective

14.  A Cubs Player

15.  An Adjective

16.  A player from another baseball team

17.  A sports reporter

18.  A retired player

19.  An adjective

20.  A roster position

21.  A feature of Wrigley Field

22. +  23.  Two corporations

24.  An occupation

25 + 26.  Two Celebrities

27.  A tragedy

28.  A Cubs Player

29.  A noun.

Recent comments

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  • who's this guy being all reasonable and stuff?

    pick someone on the board who's literally worse than hitler and start screaming about it. cubs 2016!

  • It's not pathetic -- it's what we've been waiting for!

  • Yikes -- I was off the site for a short while and it blew up.

    Gentlemen -- it is apparent that Lester has a weakness in his game. Everybody knows about it. He has, apparently, tried to work on it, but without success. Fortunately, he is talented enough that he is able to largely overcome his shortcoming.

    I am amazed that other teams don't try to bunt on him, but, as has been said, bunting is not a skill many players have.

  • Interesting that Hendricks is going tomorrow -- so, he wasn't really "skipped", just moved back a few days so Jake and Lester could deal against the Pirates. I'm OK with that.

  • PHIL: Thanks for your updates.

    One thing that we are seeing come to bear is that Theo's obvious strategy has been to stockpile young, power arms in the lower levels while owning bats that are much nearer to MLB ready - then, buying the arms the org needs in order to be highly competitive.

  • It's fun to watch the cards shit the bed anytime of the year

  • I really thought he would be the one getting the call-up. This must be a favor to the player from Theo.

  • I'm already scoreboard watching and it's only the start of May. How pathetic is that?

  • Glad to see Hudson having another good outing. He is so impressive for an 18/yo. Surprised to see Shane V. still there. I thought he would be gone this week. I can picture today. Thanks Phil!

  • stats don't lie. *nods*

  • 2016 Cubs are 0-1 on day after Trans recaps, 20-5 in other games. I enjoy his recaps, but there is a price to pay.

  • He's the Albert Pujols of recaps and has gotten a huge contract based on past performance. He doesn't need to do anything the rest of his days and he'll still get love.

  • I thought he was one-and-done on recaps?

    Didn't he get Optioned?

  • Link?

    /I keed

  • Thank you very much for such a robust response. So hard to get anything on these guys that it's nice to hear from someone who has actually seen them. Great to hear about Paredes, I have pretty high hopes for this group of IFAs.

    How impressed are you with these guys and size? I know they're pretty large prospects, especially for their ages. I consider size a plus at this stage - IIRC Amaya is the only one below 6'2"? IIRC Kwon had some baby fat on him it, Sierra's traditionally considered projectable as he's all arms and legs, Paredes has that Peralta build at SS....

  • Godzilla won in the Japanese version, Kong swam off in the American one. At least I think that's how it went....Rematch in 2020, possibly!