Lou Piniella: The Old Man and the Sea Monkeys

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THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA MONKEYS by Tim Hemingway, rough draft.

The old man shouted.

"How did I get here? One day I was in sunny Florida trying to catch a great fish, and now I am here with my Sea Monkeys who will not listen, will not execute, will not do what I say. And every day the reporters come, and they ask why, why do your Sea Monkey not listen, not execute, not do what you say?" 

Let us watch the team first said the old man without saying anything but rather by simply turning his head towards the play.

The Sea Monkey on first, he began running when the ball was struck, and the ball went to the Sea Monkey second baseman, who threw the ball to the wrong Sea Monkey, who threw the ball to the other wrong Sea Monkey, who was covering for another Sea Monkey, and the Sea Monkey on base ran on by, because there was no Sea Monkey at home.

The old man shouted.

"Why? Why did this happen? I have never seen or heard of such a play except when I was a young boy, playing with a mighty stick and weathered ball in the summer streets of my home town of Florida, sunny Florida."

Ahh, that's enough, and I apologize to the Ghost of Ernest for my blasphemy.

I got an email from the guy I split season tix with that said basically: do I want any tickets for the rest of the month since he doesn't plan on going and wants to put them up on Stub Hub before the value plummets further.

The point of this post, I think, is this: Lou should go.

When you're the leader and you have no answers, you should step down.

And when you can't fire the whole team, you should fire the manager.

Or as Hemingway once said, "This season is awful, and it's ruining my golden and frosty cold beverage and delicious hot dog with grilled onions and sport peppers and mustard."

 


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Comments

I think if Lou really cares about this team at all, he will want to fire it up. Running out to second base and kicking it won't do it, and he appears to be too tired to do that anyway. The way to fire up this team, the dignified, cool way to do it, would be to say, "These guys are just a bunch of mopes who don't want to win, and I don't want to manage a team that doesn't want to win, so I am moving back down to Florida and see if I can buy somebody's Tampa Bay season tickets."

Has anyone heard anything about our favorite Mulerider and a contract? I would have thought he couldn't sign fast enough since he was thinking day 2 of the draft. Any word on anyone else they selected?

him and his adviser/agent probably have to re-evaluate his worth after going into this whole thing expecting to be a 2-5th round pick. from the sounds of it the kid was surprised he was picked rather than expecting it.

I like the post...but I hate Hemingway.

i don't want the cubs to be the highest paid team in the league & i don't want the dumpiest most beautiful ballpark in the league to be the most expensive one to visit...everything has changed except the one thing...

The One Thing is a great INXS song.

Brilliant!

deep threat started for the i-cubs last night; here we go again?

Toyota sign... Was at yesterday's debacle. The bad: it's ugly and is definitely higher than in prior artist renderings. the only way to make it less ugly will be to put more signage near it that is even uglier. It doesn't block the Horseshoe casino rooftop ad because of the extra elevation (wasn't that the non financial part of the mission?) The good: If we ever get a slugger to hit one thru the center of the sign, it's surely going to earn someone a million dollars as promised on the Horseshoe sign by hitting that too...now that would be cool! HR derby in the 2014 All-Star game, Rebel Ridling, your destiny awaits you.

up, no word on the corresponding move yet, I'd guess Randy Wells. http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun...

could be Gorzelany to be stretched in.

Gorz is out of options, so I have my doubts. could be Howry being released or maybe Russell sent down as well.

You think Wells optioned or DL'd for some mysterious reason? Wells hasn't been that bad. Zambrano has been worse. I hate this season.

Wells ERA is up to 5.15, he's been shelled 3 of his last 4 starts and if he was out partying the night before after pitching like a crap over the last month, he probably deserves to be sent down. Z should be fine, just stop dicking him around. that being said, it could be Howry being released.

Bruce Levine on his Sat AM show confirms Atkins callup, says corresponding roster move will be announced in about one hour (awesome Rob, you beat Levine and the press corp by 1/2 hour) ...and I'm thinking James Russell

posted on twitter by someone...

Jeff Samardzija made an emergency start for the Cubs tonight after scheduled starter Mitch Atkins was scratched during batting practice.
http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2010/jun... you have to read between the lines but the Iowa link was 11:25 pm and the more obvious Memphis link was posted at midnight

Sullivan says Russell likely to go to Iowa ( not confirmed yet) http://chicagocubsonline.com/archives/2010/06...

CarrieMuskat: #Cubs lineup for sat is 2b riot, 3b baker, 1b lee, cf byrd, rf nady, lf sori, c soto, ss castro, p silva

Recent comments

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The first 600 characters of the last 16 comments, click "View" to see rest of comment.
  • Cubster 1 hour 4 min ago (view)

    Just sign Rick Reuschel and lets move on

     

  • crunch 1 hour 46 min ago (view)

    "Buster Olney of ESPN reports that Scott Kazmir will throw for MLB teams this week.

    The 36-year-old Kazmir hasn't thrown in the majors since the 2016 season, but he recently told Marc Topkin of the Tampa Bay Times that he that he hit 90.9 mph with his fastball during a bullpen session."

    someone put another bottle of left-in-the-car warm water under the cubs hot stove and let's get this one done!  woo!

    sigh.

     

  • crunch 16 hours 48 min ago (view)

    bryce harper ruined that bat dragging thing for everyone after his ejection years ago at the junior college world series.

    also, hurrah for baseball making it's return.

     

  • JustSayin' 16 hours 53 min ago (view)

    College ball started Saturday.  Umpire egos in D1 baseball are not that much smaller than in the pros, so of course there was a controversy.  In the late innings of a game in the weekend's biggest series (Michigan vs.

     

  • crunch 2 days 15 hours ago (view)

    the news is mostly based on a Baseball America article from the 11th (behind a paywall)...so the gist of it is rather legit rumor-wise, though it's still too far in the future to call it a 100% done deal.

    btw, the cubs have been strongly linked to pursuing christian hernandez for quite a while.  the BA writer that wrote the article about the cubs links has been following c.hernandez since he was a 14yo talent and is quite familiar with him.  that signing probably is in the bag.

     

  • Wrigley Rat 2 days 17 hours ago (view)

    I don't know much about this website, but they are speculating that the Cubs may sign two of the top International Free Agents available during this signing period: https://www.cubshq.com/print/news.do?id=16441&isNe... Does anyone know if this sounds legit?

     

  • Arizona Phil 3 days 21 hours ago (view)

    Minnie Minoso was playing in the Mexican League (as a DH) at age 47 and Julio Franco was playing in the Mexican League (as a DH) at age 49, so Mexican League teams clearly do not have a problem with signing older players. 

    And of course the ageless Satchel Paige was still working as a SP in AAA (with the Miami Marlins) into his early 50's (and prior to that he pitched in MLB as late as age 46).  

     

  • crunch 3 days 21 hours ago (view)

    b.colon has signed to a mexican league team.  woo old dudes.  he turns 47 in may...believed by some to be older.

     

  • Cubster 4 days 6 hours ago (view)

    Replacing someone like David DeJesus?

     

  • crunch 4 days 23 hours ago (view)

    mark grace returns to chicago as an analyst/on-air-talent for Marquee.

    he won't be part of the main game calling crew, but will be doing support content during games.

     

  • Eric S 5 days 2 hours ago (view)

    Increasing levels of smoke concerning a possible Arenado/KB trade

    https://www.bleachernation.com/cubs/2020/02/13/cubs-reportedly-are-absolutely-motivated-to-try-to-acquire-nolan-arenado/

    Get Arenado to agree to push back his opt out a few years or so down the road and this could work out nicely for the Cubs

     

  • Arizona Phil 5 days 17 hours ago (view)

    Jason Kipnis (like Brandon Morrow) was a post-2019 Article XX-B MLB free-agent who signed a 2020 minor league contract, so he gets a $100K retention bonus and an automatic June 1st player opt-out if he is not released by 12 PM (Eastern) on the 5th day prior to MLB Opening Day or added to an MLB 40-man roster or MLB 60-day IL by 12 PM (Eastern) on MLB Opening Day. 

     

  • Arizona Phil 5 days 17 hours ago (view)

    The Cubs have signed post-2019 second-contract minor league FA catcher Jordan Procyshen to a 2020 minor league contract and he has been assigned to AA Tennessee.  

     

  • Dolorous Jon Lester 5 days 19 hours ago (view)

    Q could be subbed in for any of those too

     

  • crunch 5 days 21 hours ago (view)

    darvish, lester, and mills could combine to give up 100 homers between the 3 of them.

     

  • Dolorous Jon Lester 5 days 21 hours ago (view)

    I would have liked to give him a shot. I don't see much more out of a Chatwood and Alec Mills competition for the 5th spot.