Revenge is a Dish Best Served in Formaldehyde
I can see the Simpsons animating this one (with a guest appearance from heaven by Ricardo Montalbán).
byline, Nick Cough-fart-doo and Kent Brockman:
The Red Sox announced the completion of the Theo Epstein compensation package today. The Cubs will receive as their PTBNL, the bone spur from Chris Carpenter's elbow in a jar of formaldehyde.
Would the Red Sox really refer one of their newest hurlers to (video link) Dr. Nick?
On a more serious note, it's not a good spring to be named Chris Carpenter. The Cardinals ace pitcher has a significant pinched nerve somewhere between his neck and pitching shoulder that has caused some weakness and discomfort. According to the St. Louis media his timetable to return to the Cardinals rotation isn't certain.
News broke out of Red Sox camp yesterday as fans were wondering why "the other Carp" had only thrown 2 innings all spring. Former Cub, Chris Carpenter tweeted:
“Headed into surgery tomorrow with Dr Andrews to remove a bone spur in my elbow,’’ “Stayin positive and prepared to work harder than ever to come back as soon as I can this season.’’
I'm Spur-ed on to write just a little more, after the break...
Update: (Thursday noon, CST), per a Carrie Muskat tweet:
RedSox send 1B Jair Bogaerts to Cubs to complete compensation deal for Theo. Batted .288 in Dominican Summer League. He's 19.
Elbow spurs or in medical speak, "osteophytes" develop in response to localized areas of cartilage damage. If the underlying bone reparative process gets stimulated, it can lead to a mix of bone and cartilage (the osteophyte) that often protrudes beyond the once smooth cartilage surface of the joint. The elbow is a complex hinge joint and any bone prominence that develops can block movement and lead to pain or loss of normal range of motion. The elbow is responsible not only for the hinge-like flexion and extension but also forearm rotation (supination and pronation). When symptomatic spurs occur, they can be shaved using arthroscopic techniques (video link) with usually 2-4 small incisions. Because the elbow is a smaller and tighter joint it requires a smaller scope and shaver than used in knee or shoulder arthroscopy. Once removed, a throwing athlete can begin rehab almost immediately but the timetable to full recovery is usually 2-3 months. I recall Koske Fukudome had similar surgery in August 2007 before the Cubs acquired him in 2008.
Once Carpenter tweeted his news, all the usual media jumped all over the info, including Boston's Gordon Edes (ESPN), Peter Abraham and the real Nick Cafardo (Boston Globe) as well Chicago media such as Cubs.com writer Carrie Muskat.
Cafardo added his usual knife twisting bitterness over the Theo Comp Caper:
Red Sox GM Ben Cherington confirmed that Carpenter is having surgery, but would not comment on whether the injury predated the Feb. 21 trade with the Cubs or when Carpenter might return.
Is Cafardo hinting at a full scale Congressional investigation based on damaged goods received? Will Theo and Ben have to go back to the drawing board for 4 more months? Did Moses really have to climb back up Mount Sinai and re-type the "final version" of the ten commandments after throwing the original tablets at the blasphemers? Surely, Nick C. still has beautiful dreams of other people's nightmares.
I recall that the "final terms" of the Theo Compensation involved sending relievers Chris Carpenter and Aaron Kurcz to Boston and the Cubs were to get a low level minor leaguer back just to make it a "player transaction."
From the above ESPN link (Gordon Edes and Doug Padilla):
Cherington was asked why the Red Sox have to send a player to the Cubs. "This is still a baseball trade," he said. "It's satisfying the compensation issue, but it's still a baseball trade and in any baseball trade there has to be something coming and something going." Hoyer said he expects the exchange of players to be named to occur by April 15
ADDENDUM (Thursday noon, CST), per a Carrie Muskat tweet:
GM Hoyer on Carpenter elbow: "It's something we had no knowledge of. I don't think he had any elbow issues for the last two years."
RedSox send 1B Jair Bogaerts to Cubs to complete compensation deal for Theo. Batted .288 in Dominican Summer League. He's 19.
Scouting Report: Very strong - particularly his hands. Raw power potential. Should be able to improve his receiving skills quickly. Loves to play.
...and Carpenter's Spur tracking number (783429482123) by Fed-Ex.
I guess body parts from a player will make this a new twist on those rare trades where a player is traded for himself (such as Harry Chiti and Dickie Noles).
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