Cubs @ Atlanta: Darvish vs. Fried (Game 6)
CHC (1-4): RHP Yu Darvish (0-1)
ATL (2-3): LHP Max Fried (0-0)
First pitch 6:20pmCST
The first two games of my tenure as gameday poster haven't gone well. So, in lieu of writing the post myself, I forced a bot to watch what has felt like 1000 hours of Cubs baseball and had it script out a game. Here's a sample:
EXT. BASEBALL FIELD
We see FRIENDLY BASEBALL PLAYERS. They are wearing PAJAMAS FOR MUSCULAR MEN.
An EVIL PLAYER holding an OBLONG PIECE OF WOOD and wearing a HEADSHELL walks to home plate.
FRIENDLY PITCHER 1
I am ready to compete. My team has forgotten past failures.
FRIENDLY PLAYER 2 wiggles his FINGERS. EVIL PLAYER 1 swings his OBLONG WOOD and hits the BASEBALL.
FRIENDLY OUTFIELDER 1
The baseball is full of malice and I am afraid.
FRIENDLY OUTFIELDER 2
I am unable to help you because I must stay in my corner.
COACH
I believe in you. People will blame me for your failures.
FRIENDLY INFIELDER 1
Do not worry, friend. We will help later with our OBLONG WOOD.
FRIENDLY RELIEF PITCHERS (dancing ruefully)
We will also be present later.
The EVIL PLAYER circles the bases. He is compelled by the universe and cannot stop.
I am not current with my memes.
Anyway, there's another game tonight. Raise your hopes at your own risk!
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