Satire

Spring Training Narratives: The Mad-Libs Edition.

I was meaning to write a nice update of spring training storylines like Rob has done in the post below, but I'm too busy reading rejection letters from Universities being chased by spurned Valentines to scour the globe for the informative content that you, the reader deserve.

Then I remembered that it's spring training, and the stories write themselves.

So here are your Mad Libs that need filling in.  The story itself is below the fold.  (No peeking until you've entered your words!)

 

1. A Cubs Player

2. A number

3. A celebrity

4. A food

5.  A gerund (a verb + ing) 

6.  A noun

7. A Cubs Player

8.  A body part

9.  A medical procedure

10.  A number

11.  A roster position

12. A Cubs Player

13. An adjective

14.  A Cubs Player

15.  An Adjective

16.  A player from another baseball team

17.  A sports reporter

18.  A retired player

19.  An adjective

20.  A roster position

21.  A feature of Wrigley Field

22. +  23.  Two corporations

24.  An occupation

25 + 26.  Two Celebrities

27.  A tragedy

28.  A Cubs Player

29.  A noun.

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  • 3ip 0h 0bb 3k for t.wood...nice.

    28 pitches.

    wonder if they'll let him go another.

    crunch 4 min 15 sec ago view
  • Depends how long he'd be gone but if not too long I would assume they'll use Wood or Cahill and limit them to 4 or 5 innings and call up a reliever to use in the bullpen.

    johann 8 min 4 sec ago view
  • hopefully it's a carlos-zambrano-special and he just needs to drink more water and less coffee+redbull before starts.

    crunch 13 min 46 sec ago view
  • Assuming Hammel needs some DL time for the hammy, who do the Cubs call up: Glasnow or Taillon? Too many starting pitching prospects at Iowa to choose from.

    Eric S 16 min 48 sec ago view
  • "cramping in right hamstring" according to the booth.

    btw, it was his left hamstring that was injured last year.

    crunch 18 min 13 sec ago view
  • hammel is injured and done..."leg cramp" or some other leg issue...was down behind the mound coming back from commercial and seemed to have injured himself warming up on the mound between innings.

    crunch 39 min 58 sec ago view
  • heyward with a bit of starlin castro disease...you're great D dude, but you can't range 200ft in all directions even if you're playing CF.

    that said, he almost had it...though zobrist or baez should have had it if heyward wasn't coming on at 100mph.

    hammel is quite wild today even if he got the first 2 outs on Ks that were result of swinging through stuff not in the zone.

    crunch 1 hour 24 min ago view
  • she did fine, fwiw.

    bombs were bursting in the air...ramparts were watched...all that stuff.

    zoobrest kissed her afterwards and got about 20lbs of the 100lbs of makeup she was wearing on him.

    crunch 1 hour 36 min ago view
  • Cards still haven't been punished for hacking, "unlikely" to happen before June draft. http://bit.ly/1U8sEYL

    CubbyBlue 2 hours 14 min ago view
  • i'd settle for him knocking it out the park...not settle, prefer...yeah.

    crunch 3 hours 32 min ago view
  • I'm sure she'll knock it out of the park.

    Old and Blue 6 hours 46 min ago view
  • Nice article on Willson Contreras in the DesMoines Register

    http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/sports/base...

    Cubster 7 hours 7 min ago view
  • Julianna Zobrist will sing national anthem (Memorial Day) at Wrigley today.

    Tribune interviews her...

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs...

    Cubster 7 hours 11 min ago view
  • Any word on Neil Ramirez?? Today is his 10th day where they have had to have done something with him, or are they not count today because it is a holiday??

    cubbies.4ever 8 hours 58 min ago view
  • if they dont win at least 130 games this season they can pack it all up, turn wrigley into a concert venue, and move the damn team to san jose.

    #Bernie130orBust

    crunch 18 hours 30 min ago view
  • I see where catcher Cael Brockmeyer was promoted to Tennessee a couple of days ago, to fill a roster spot vacated by David Freitas, recently promoted to Iowa. Caratini is the other catcher at Tennessee.

    VirginiaPhil 18 hours 33 min ago view