So it's the 9th inning of an admittedly meaningless, end of the season game.
The 22-games-out Cubs are beating the 100-loss Houston Astros two to one.
This is nothing, right?
But if you actually paid money to get in the game, this is hopefully why you came:
Sean Marshall's on the mound with his wicked hook, the bases are loaded with Astros and there's only one out - it's all the baseball drama you could hope for.
But as Crunch pointed out yesterday, there in the background are Cub fans gleefully doing the wave.
At Wrigley Field.
The freaking wave.
And all I could think was: what a buncha...well now you know where the idea for this cartoon gif came from.
It's not like Cub Fans need any help with the ditzy "they don't know about baseball" reputation.
And it's not like there are signs up around the park prohibiting it.
But the wave has been vehemently banned at Wrigley Field forever.
Now, I am not saying you can't go have fun at the ballpark - I try to make that my business.
But for Harry's sake, man: can we please not see the wave at Wrigley again?
If only for the simple reason that even if the Cubs are terrible, I can take solace in the fans being cool enough to not. Do. The. Wave.
If you absolutely feel like you have to dance at a baseball game, do that stupid YMCA thing.
But leave the wave at the door.
Jesus, I need a Budweiser and a nice loud Gary Fencik helmet to helmet.
By the way, Marshall struck out Jose Altuve, and then got Humberto Quintero to ground out to Barney, and it was glorious baseball.
I apologize to all the Dicks I used in the illustration: Dick Nixon, Dick Allen, Dick Cheney, Dick Van Dyke, Dick Tracy, and Dick Jauron.
And I apologize for my obscene double entendre.
But not really.