My Ouija conversation with Dead Aramis Ramirez
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This is kinda creepy I know, but the following conversation happened just last night...
ME: Aramis Ramirez!
(It's midnight, I'm sitting alone in a dark hotel room with my Ouija Board and a candle.)
ME: You there, Aramis?
(Man, it is SO weird talkin' with a dead guy.)
ME: Aramis, how do you feel about being picked as the National League's Least Valuable Player for the first half of 2010?
(Okay, pretty scary - the candle flame blew around as if there was a crazy wind in here.)
OUIJA: Like the matador who ran from El Toro.
(you've got experience with the Ouija, you know that sentence took about 20 minutes, but... TOTALLY worth it to speak with the dead.)
ME: Saw the You Tube clip - it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, even if you're hitting .207.
OUIJA: Did you not notice the week before this All-Star break?
ME: You mean the thrill of sweeping Arizona and the agony of dropping 3 of 4 against L.A.?
(The closet door just slammed shut, I am not kidding.)
OUIJA: No! You are the bag of bad gas! I speak of my numbers: .428 with the average, 4 of the home runs, 9 of the runs batted in.
ME: This would go faster if you used acronyms. Like "RBI".
(Oh my GOD! A pencil flew across the room and hit me in the forehead.)
ME: So sorry, oh Aramis the Dead! The numbers are impressive!
OUIJA: Yes they are. If my thumb stays healed, I will come back to life!
ME: Awesome! So what do you think about Lou Piniella - how's he holding up?
OUIJA: He's standing right here, would you like to speak to him?
ME: I knew it!
OUIJA: What can I say, fellas? Nobody likes to lose. But what can you
...And that's when the candle blew out and I lost the Ouija connection.
But pretty cool talking with Aramis.
Lets see if he can really rise from the dead.
You can read Tim Souers work on daily basis at Cubby Blue.
- The pressure of going for the regular-season wins record is now gone.
- Joe will come up with more wacky dress-up ideas for the team to wear after they lose their next get-away game.
- There is more clarity on Spencer Patton.
- We play the Reds next. They aren't very good.
- We'll have at least a 9 game lead after today.
EDIT: - Contreras looks like the real deal.
Other than that, not much -- nasty stretch. Two ugly losses in the last 4 games.
Ugh -- give Lackey a 4-1 lead, you hope for better.
Joe: "We lost. They beat us. Now where's my '09 Guigal Bordeaux glass...?
I forgot how rail thin skinny Carl Edwards Jr. Is - he threw some nasty stuff - hope that continues
HAHAHA! I love it here! Brilliant...
"The pressure of going for the regular-season wins record is now gone."
Brilliant. Maddon is a genius!
"Drink copiously but responsibly."
Done and done. Thanks for that.
Oil Can Boyd now pitching for the Cubs
It's a long season. There will be stretches like this. It's Saturday night. Drink copiously but responsibly.
That valuable RBIGIDP.
Someone talk me down here.
I remember AZ PHIL talking about Bour's power during the Hendry era.
Time to scrap the scouting report on Justin Bour and get a new one. Sheesh.
Contreras seems pretty adamant he'll play anywhere Madden wants him to so as long as he stays hot and with all the injuries it'll be pretty nice to have yet another bat Madden can move around.
Rizzo in, Zobrist out, Willson in LF, Montero back and Almora batting 9th ... let's score some runs
Time for Mr. Oh to get some save chances.
Rosenthal does it again! Comes in with a 3-1 lead in the 9th -- double, BB, HR...ballgame.
Very nice win last nice -- could have caved in after the bottom of the first. It would be OK if guys stopped getting hurt, and if SF would lose a few.