Keep Your Eye on the Crystal Ball
Pre-holiday musings while waiting for some real news about PLAYING personnel:
•Due to overcrowding in the front office the saber-squad works out of the Wrigley Field scoreboard. You know, inside the numbers.
•Prince Fielder re-ups with the Brewers and gives them a substantial hometown discount now that Sveum is finally gone.
•Sveum’s brother, Sven, joins the team as a rowing [pronounced roving] instructor.
•Alfonso Soriano finally goes to the wall on a ball and gets lost in the ivy. After the search is called off the team schedules “burn the contract night.” The first 10,000 through the turnstiles get facsimiles of Soriano’s contract and matches with which to light them during the 7th inning stretch.
•During Miami’s first visit to Wrigley Carlos Zambrano defects to the visiting clubhouse where Ozzie Guillen grants him asylum. Negotiations lead to the Marlins’ sending Andre Dawson back to the Cubs as compensation.
•Theo does away with the celebrity sing-alongs in favor of medleys performed by him, Hoyer and Wayne Messmer. Besides “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” repertoire includes old Lettermen and Kingston Trio hits like “Shangri-La,” “Greenback Dollar” and “Hang Down Your Head, Mike Quade.”
•Sandberg is hired as Sveum’s understudy and later suspended when he tests positive for HPH (Human Personality Hormone) after knocking a few jokes out of the park in meetings with the beat writers. Quade is heard somewhere saying, “&%$@#* Sandy!”
•Change the Culture Night features espresso flowing from the taps and in the dugout water coolers in twin spirits of urgency and hustle. 11 Cub base stealers thrown out, including Bryan LaHair trying to stretch a HBP into a double.
•Cubs begin selling “gull safari” packages as a new revenue stream, allowing fans the chance to shoot birds from the bleachers after daytime home games.
•Team finishes out of the money in Year One but Hoyer does win the MLB General Managers’ Fantasy League with no Cubs on his roster.
Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. Never thought I'd say this but, GO PACKERS!
Certainly might be the hottest pitcher right now, but he's behind a few pitchers by most objective full season standards.
Well noted. You may also note that Lester's Career Playoff ERA is almost a full point lower, and he has a lower WHIP as well.
Can't have everything, I guess.
i'm happy enough with the Lester signing, but Scherzer has more than earned the extra money so far. If he was in the rotation instead of Lester, this team would feel practically bulletproof to me.
Blaspheme maybe, but I think Scherzer is the best pitcher in the NL right now.
Maddon was pimping Russell for Gold Glove honors recently as a manager should do...
Here's some defensive numbers:
- Crawford (22.2)
- Seager (16.9)
- Cozart (14.2)
- Hechavarria (13.5)
- Russell (12.4)
- B. Crawford 2.3
- Russell 2.0
- Hechavarria 1.7
- N. Ahmed 1.6
- Z. Cozart 1.5
13.C. Seager 0.7
.978 FP, 11 E, 333 A, 162 PO, 562 Chances, 4.27 RF, 72 DP Turned
Let me guess: Land of Contusion? Puppet Prez Reagan mistakenly blows the world up due to a bum thumb?
Favorite Genesis video
Twitterverse reporting that Almora's examination by a hand specialist went okay, it's still just a hand contusion.
Attaboy, Eloy! Jimenez named Midwest League MVP and Best Prospect.
FYI, formatting of the web page is weird.
Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particularly glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
White Sox new stadium name w apropos logo
it was between that and "more like the CRUNCH REALLY EARLY AM REPORTER because i'm gonna c.r.e.am all over this place."
i chose the classy route.
This picture is everything.
that was the 2nd greatest piece of performance art since Donald Trump's campaign
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌👌🎩👓🎩👍🎩👓🎩👍🎩 euphoric logic !euphoric loGic👌 thats ✔ some euphoric👌💻 logic right👌💻there👌👍👌 Carl 🔭 Sagan🌌💫if i do ƽaү so gentlemen 💯 i say so 💯 thats euPhoric logic right there Richard 📒 Dawkins🎩 (chorus: socrates died for this shit) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👓👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌🎩 👌 💯 👌 👓🎩🎩🎩 👍👌euphoric logic slam me the FUCK uP 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 john cena JOhN cEna